The Lair

Soldiers fighting genetically engineered slimy creatures - it's a kind of mix between John Rambo's mission in Afghanistan with the second Alien movie. From the director of "Dog Soldiers" and "Doomsday", another monster flick which is decently entertaining. Funny enough, for Neil Marshall's previous "The Reckoning", I had high expectations and was a little disappointed. For "The Lair", exactly the opposite: I didn't expect much, but was actually pleased.

The movie is obviously influenced by the mercenary and sci-fi flicks of the 80s and 90s, and well constructed in three acts at 30 mins each. Act 1, the bunker is discovered. Will the army take heed of the warning of an unknown enemy? Act 2, battle at night with the creatures, then more information is gathered, from obduction of a creature's body to unexpected help from a local guy. Act 3, trying to stop the invasion from below. Because also Taliban forces attack, really an action-packed situation. The movie has a few weaknesses, some characters remain shallow as cardboard, some scenes are "we've seen it all before", but it was fun.

It is exactly what I expected. You know that a lot of the soldiers are fodder. And. That is okay. Good action sequences. Great creature effects. Not sure why there are so many negative reviews. It's a great time killer. And. As long as you know what your in for. You'll like it. Paced nicely. Good character development. If you like monster movies with practical effects. You'll enjoy this. Turn your brain off, to some extent. Has a few jump moments. Nothing major. The actors did a good job with the material they were given. Would love to see the material expanded upon. A sequel or prequel would be nice.

Those were some of the worst accents I've ever heard across the board and they were so distracting that I have no idea if the movie was any good.

The script seemed choppy and unconvincing but I'm not entirely sure if it was actually bad or if I just couldn't get past the atrocious accents.

The story was slow and dragged it'd feet, the monsters felt repetitive, the entire premise felt forced and had no natural flow to it.

But seriously, in case I haven't hit this point enough, couldn't they cast people with authentic accents if they were unable to find anyone able to convincingly deliver on them?

Basic premise is something we've seen countless times. Secret military base with monsters. Bunch of soldiers fighting for their lives. Same old, same old.

Nothing really new here. Pretty much by the numbers.

The special effects are just as average as everything else. Nothing too special. Not terrible, just your usual rubber suits and squibs.

The acting is... alright. The characters are all very one note. Everyone has their role, the muscle, the ass, the doc, the heart, etc... again, all as expected. The acting is serviceable.

The writing... meh. Tons of stupid decisions being made. Lots of nonsensical stuff and contradictions. The monsters are both nigh invulnerable and able to be knocked out by a punch. They can take countless rounds from high powered rifles, but a hammer to the head takes them out.

There's also a lot of magically teleporting moments. Like when a monster is there to grab someone when they weren't there a second ago. Or how there's a ton of them everywhere, then suddenly the place is empty, then it's full again when they need more action. Just very badly directed.

If you turn your brain off, it makes an adequate action flick to waste time with. But not really worth bothering with if you're looking for something beyond made for TV trash.

Unfortunately, the saddening downhill slope of Neil Marshall, author of such cool flicks as The Descent, Dog Soldiers and Centurion, continues, with the last three being lackluster Hellboy remake (5/10), disappointing historical horror The Reckoning (5/10) and now this, a flat, murky B creature feature with more cliché's than one can count.

. The set-up, story and conclusion, or pretty much everything, is by-the-numbers, run-down-the-mill B actioneer that also can't decide if it wants to be a horror movie or action comedy. We have an army base, a secret soviet (not nazi?!) bunker, cardboard soldiers throwing an overwhelming amount of weak one-liners, and a depthless, tired protagonist, and, of course, some monsters craving a fight with humans. About the only really decent factor of "The Lair" are the special effects, although used in abundance and leaving a taste for more. Acting wise I can only commend Hadi Khanjanpour, the Afghan prisoner on the road to being a badass, and having the only character with any sort of arc. Rest of the cast are having a lazy sunday stroll. There's a grain of an interesting horror movie idea in "The Lair", but it's all lost in a weak script and flat direction. "The Lair" gets dull and mindless already 10 minutes into it, and struggles to build any tension during the next 80, and whatever tension there might've been, is destroyed by frequent tiresome comedy.

. There really isn't much to say about this forgettable suBpar action horror film, the most fun you'll have is if you crack t least a couple beers and have some company, other than that, pass on this one, even if you love creature features. My rating: 4/10.