Bitch Ass

The year is 1999, it is 666 Night (whatever that is?), a gang of teenagers break into a house in their Los Angeles neighbourhood (or should I say "Hood"?). Bad news for them, a hulking masked killer called (insert the title of the movie, ironically if I were to type it myself my review would probably be rejected) lives there, he likes to plays games - deadly games! The maniac's childhood name is Seesaw, it doesn't take a genius to figure that this film borrows from the "Saw" movies. One by one he plays gory games with the gang, the first one is "Operation", only instead of playing with the regular board game an actual human body is used. I thought this was a clever idea but sadly, like much of the film, it is poorly executed. Another game played is Connect 4, hooked up to a guillotine. This film stars an all black cast and it sort of boasts of featuring the first black killer to don a face mask. I'm fine with this, I love to watch all horror movies, but needless to say it will not appeal to everyone. The quality of acting is a mixed bunch, overall it is pretty amateur though horror legend Tony Todd has a small but welcome part as a horror TV host. There are a few flashback scenes set in 1980, modern vehicles can be seen driving past characters who look fashion-wise at least 1990's. There are a few gory bits but nothing to get excited about. Looking at some of the reviews on here a number have obviously been written by people connected with the making of this turkey, take the high scoring ones with a large pinch of salt! Given that this movie was made on a tiny budget I will give the makers some credit, initially I thought that it was going to be worse than what it turned out to be. However a turd is still a turd no matter how much you polish it, know what I'm saying?

I was stuck for something to watch and I found this on one of many many streaming platforms here in the UK.

I checked the reviews on here and I can assure you this is a real review from a real person lol this is NO way as bad as people on here have made out.

I'm not gonna spoil it but if The People Under The Stairs is a 10 and Bones is a 1 this is easily a 6. With the late great Tony Todd playing the role as the "Crypt Keeper" I knew it couldn't be all bad.

The actual story is quite good. The acting is as really not that bad. It's cheesy like any anthology show of that era was.

The villain wasn't all that bad. He had a good backstory.

All in all was pretty good. Wouldn't watch it again, but definitely worth one watch.

A lot of negative reviews but I thought it was much better than a lot of low budget movies of this type that still spawned sequels- Sleepaway Camp ring a bell anyone? I also recall one of the best classics ever originally being panned by critical when it first came out, the original Evil Dead. While this is far from being in that category it still has its moments and may be a classic in the making, who knows? I'm impressed that it was as good as it was being the extremely low budget it was under, especially having a known celebrity as Tony Todd as part of the cast. I've come across so many horror movies on the streaming services where I couldn't watch any more than a half hours worth before turning them off, especially with the horrible acting involved, which was not the case here. All actors involved did seem to be much better than what you'd expect, that's for sure! But you can make your own decision.

Notice how the 8 and over star reviewers have only reviewed 1 movie? It's because they worked on this movie or know someone who did. The lighting is horrible, the acting is weak, it's not original. The only thing original about this is that it's an all black cast. If you're looking for a dumb movie to watch, because you have nothing else to watch, just watch nothing. It would be better than this trash. The only reason I gave it 3 stars is because people actually took time out of their lives to make this movie. I cant knock the hustle, but I'm knocking the outcome. I was cringing from the very beginning. Trying way too hard to be "hip" and "original" when it's far from it. Take my advice and watch Zombeavers instead.

The movie looks cheap but I still had a good time watching it. The kills were surprisingly gory. Liked the board death games.

Pretty decent cast I thought. Some wooden acting due to awkward writing, but also good moments.

Some parts like the grandma showing up near the end couldve been thought out better. The opening credits are a nice idea but the font used looks cheap and rushed.

Editing was choppy at parts and pretty noticeable.

I do think this movie deserved a better title IMO. The title holds back how serious the movie gets at times.

Killer was a little cringey but not too crazy. I guess the accent just threw me off at times.

But I liked the movie for the kills, tone and some good performances.