- SpongeBob SquarePants: Hail, O Swami of the Gnarly Pounders. We seek audience with thee.
- Patrick Star: Plus we wanna talk to you.
- Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Where are your shoes? You're not going section eight on me, are you?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: It's so hot, my shoes... my shoes melted off.
- Jack Kahuna Laguna: There's one thing I forgot to tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you will not return.
- Squidward Tentacles: I volunteer SpongeBob!
- Narrator: To some, surfing comes as naturally as eating ice-cream on a hot day. To others, it's like eating ice-cream on a cold day.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
- Patrick Star: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheesecake.
- Squidward Tentacles: [Jack Kahuna Laguna gets swallowed by the Big One] I guess the Big One prefers a high-protein diet.
- Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! Welcome... to my locker!
- [He laughs maniacally and then sings Daydream Believer]
- Davy Jones: For a day-dream believer and a homecoming queen!
- [He throws a sock at the Flying Dutchman]
- Narrator: [During the narration, SpongeBob and Patrick are easily distracted while Twitch tries to teach them how to surf] Ah, learning how to surf. To some, it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day. Others... well... to them, it's like eating an ice cream cone on a COLD day. Sometimes in surfing, it's the approach that's most important. And sometimes, it's the retreat. Once in a lifetime, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small. And the surfer has to act fast... or he stands to miss the ride of his life. But all in all, in life... it's not whether we win or lose, but whether we get totally stoked.