Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

This is not a quality film and I don't think they even meant it to be good or memorable. If you watched the trailers and *didn't* expect it to be terrible, I'd be very, very surprised. I would never have paid to see this. I only saw it because I got passes to a free advance screening. And it was just as ridiculous as I expected - and I was pretty entertained. We were laughing pretty hard the whole time.

The movie wasn't trying to have a good plot or a surprise twist. Clocking in at a little over an hour, it could have been season finale of a B-grade TV series of the same premise. I think movie was just trying to be funny, and I think their jokes worked. Like how Hansel has a "medical condition" (not spoiling it here). It doesn't work in a physiological sense - but who cares? It was really funny that they even made that connection!

There was an incredible amount of gore in this movie; but I suppose that itself was a joke, given the premise of the movie. Their other jokes relied on anachronisms (weapons, fanboys, crime investigations). But they were careful enough that the anachronisms were funny in the context of the world-building instead of being glaring anomalies.

There might be some people complaining about what an inadequate film this was with respect to plot, but that would be missing the point. Don't watch this expecting to take away anything - it's really only just for the lawls.

What you may or may not remember about the Brothers Grimm' story is over and done with in the first ten minutes of writer-director Tommy Wirkola's revisionist treatment of the classic tale, which basically imagines what happens after the happily ever after. And so Wirkola fast- forwards the story many years later, where he would like us to believe that Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have found their calling as witch hunters, travelling around from village to village killing the evil ones who kidnap children and rescuing their abductees in the process.

One particular such mission brings them to the town of Augsburg, where a beautiful blonde-haired woman named Mina (Pihla Viitala) is due to be drowned in front of an angry crowd by the shifty Sheriff Berringer (Peter Stormare). The Mayor (Rainer Bock) is not so fast to pronounce judgment on her for the spate of disappearances, and has hired Hansel and Gretel to get to the bottom of it. Seeing no visible signs of sorcery on her, Hansel and Gretel free her, inadvertently setting themselves on a collision course with the Sheriff.

But the bitter Sheriff and his band of hunters are the least of their problems – indeed, their most pressing concern is the Grandmother Witch Muriel (Famke Janssen) and her hench-women, who have been keeping the children they have kidnapped locked up in wait for a much more sinister plot to make them even more powerful. Of course, as narrative dictates, Muriel's plan would have something to do with Hansel and Gretel's own past, as well as their extraordinary ability to be immune from the spells of witches.

Savvy viewers will be able to spot the connection once the clues are laid, so don't expect a revelatory surprise at the end. That doesn't mean however that this reimagination is predictable; instead, Wirkola keeps you riveted with a surprisingly effective blend of horror and hilarity often within the very same scene. Case in point? Just before she forces someone to turn a shotgun on himself and splatter his brains onto the wall, Muriel comments how the room they are in looks somehow drab and could do with some colour.

That same irreverence pervades the entire movie, which shouldn't come as a surprise if you paid attention to the opening credits and spotted Will Ferrell and Adam McKay as producers of the movie. Their brand of rude cheeky humour is very much alive in Wirkola's first English-language feature, who had demonstrated through his debut movie lampooning Quentin Tarantino – Kill Buljo – that he is perfectly in tune with their sensibilities. But Wirkola also brings his eye for gore – seen in his sophomore film 'Dead Snow' – to this movie, so be prepared for exploding flesh, crushed skulls and some particularly nasty decapitations that is good reason why this grown-up version of Hansel and Gretel does not carry a kid-friendly rating.

Amidst the gore and adult humour, Renner and Arterton unfortunately are left with paper-thin characters. While Renner pretty much looks dour throughout the movie, Arterton seems determined to have fun with her ass-kicking female heroine of a role, and her portrayal of Gretel resembles a Lara Croft for the medieval ages. The scene-stealer however is Janssen, the former Bond villain once again relishing the opportunity to play against type as the villain and putting in a deliciously over- the-top performance as Muriel. Other supporting actors don't make much of an impression – including Thomas Mann, a firm Hansel and Gretel devotee who gets some laughs from his fanboy behaviour and eventually sees his wish come true to be a witch hunter like his heroes.

And we suspect, how much you will end up enjoying this new twist to the classic fairy tale will also depend on your expectations. Compared to the recent spate of fairytale-inspired Hollywood movies like 'Red Riding Hood' or 'Snow White and the Huntsman', it veers most far off from its source material to tell an entirely different story. The result of that novelty is something bloody all right, that can also prove to be bloody good fun if you're looking for an adult-oriented blend of action, adventure, fantasy, horror and comedy. It might not sound intuitive, but this fairy tale is best enjoyed without the kids.

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I can understand the movies poor reception and reviews however its one of those movies which you can't help but enjoy anyway. Its extremely fast, witty and has an unprecedented amount of gore. The action is plenty full and it has a simple storyline that plays on a classic fairytale. Although it has a serious tone it doesn't take itself seriously. Instead we get a fun, gruesome and entertaining action/horror movie. Arterton and Renner are strong in there roles and the witches are imaginative but familiar. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunter makes good use of its cast, creates some bloody mess all in a really fantasied and exacerbated 19th century.

I seriously enjoyed this film-- it had more gore than Mel Gibson could shake a fist at, some very cute actors, and didn't waste time with excessive back-story and details, and gave me many good laughs.

Its not an intellectually stimulating movie... duh. Its made to a hilariously entertaining popcorn flick with over-the-top action and unrealistic weapons that wouldn't have existed given the 'time period' this movie seems to be set in. So you folks out there giving it bad rap for not meeting your standards, calm down. Its clearly not trying to. :).

This movie's violence reminded me of the Expendables-- but this film never takes itself too seriously like the other film does... I found this much more fun to watch.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

** (out of 4)

R-rated, gory horror-adventure has brother and sisters Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretal (Gemma Arterton) called to a small town to try and locate some children that have been kidnapped by some witches. Soon they realize that a Queen witch (Famke Janssen) has bigger plans that could have a major change on the world. HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS isn't quite as bad as some are making it out to be but there's no question that the entire film just has an uneasy mix of genres that never fully come together and in the end the film just came off as something that didn't know what it wanted to be or do. At times there's some campy comedy moments but these aren't good enough to save the picture. At other times we're given a fairly interesting look at two people hunting witches but the film doesn't do too much with this. We're also given a picture with some extremely graphic gore that comes out of nowhere. I really liked the fact that they went for a R-rating and didn't hold back for a smaller rating but at the same time if you took this away there really wouldn't be much to the movie. The film manages to be slightly entertaining because of this type of gore but at the same time I can see how it might not sit well with some more sensitive viewers. Another thing I liked was the actual look of the witches. The CGI effects were actually quite believable whenever the witches changed form in their faces. The look of the major witch was also quite nice and benefited from the strong and fun performance by Janssen who managed to bring a certain sexy nature to the role. Both Renner and Arterton are good in their parts but the screenplay really makes both characters quite boring and uninteresting. The supporting players here are usually much better and the movie probably would have benefited having them in it more. This includes an obsessed fan of the duo as well as an evil sheriff. Another problem with the film is that you just never really get involved with anything going on. It looks nice and some of the action scenes are put together nicely but there's just no real energy that brings you into the film.