The Tank

There are some good things about this movie - I don't mind the creatures and there were some creepy bits, but this is overshadowed by the ridiculous bits. Like pouring your super irritating chemicals into the water of a massive tank as if they won't just dilute immediately. Or wandering around in the dark wondering if something is out there while something out in the forest makes prehistoric noises that would scare the hell out of anyone. The most puzzling bit is the disappearing windows of cars. These disappear to let beasties in but then reappear when the danger is over. It is amazingly lazy filmmaking. I'm prepared to suspend logic for a horror but the disappearing window glass took it that step too far.

The news teased the viewers with an upcoming old school practical fx creature feature. Well, technically it is, but what we, monster movie fans, love about the genre is when you actually see the creature a lot. The Tank is terribly slow paced and only after one hour of dull conversations and flashbacks some limited action starts.

The monster: awfully generic and it's given a bit more screen time than in the trailers.

The writing: the plot is driven by dumb, absolutely illogical decisions of the characters.

True monster flicks fans will be disappointed.

If you're curious anyway, fast forward the first 60 min and don't expect much.

How are movies like this still being made? Movies that offer absolutely nothing new or creative in any way. I get that there are only a finite amount of ideas for a story out there, but even if you're doing something that has been done before you can at least put your own spin on it. 'The Tank' is as bad as films get.

I don't want to be too harsh on this film, so I'll just list a few of the things I didn't like without going into too much detail. I thought the creatures weren't very impressive visually and they conveniently only attacked when it was necessary to the story. Otherwise they would just sit there making gargling sounds. Also the film puts a child right in the middle of the story who is extremely annoying and also guarantees the safety of certain characters. There is nothing that kills the tension in a horror movie more than kids.

The dialogue is bland and completely lacking in creativity, the movie doesn't know how to build tension in a scene, the setting isn't scary and the acting is poor. I did not like this film. A generous 2.5/10.

All of my life I've seen horror films. Along with science fiction and fantasy, these are my staple. I've seen more than three decades of movies and TV shows.

This film's premise is about a creature that has adapted to stalking its prey in absolute darkness. The creature has spawned and is expanding its territory. Ironically the creature's next prey are human beings, themselves invaders of the animal kingdom. This seems almost like a documentary, the way I've explained the creature and its habits.

The movie is about a family of three moving into the owner's parents house that was left abandoned for many years following an accident.

Soon they discover they are not alone, and something sinister is stalking them that lives under their house.

Verdict: average acting, above average real special effects not CGI, good sound-effects and photography. But the script and direction is questionable. Don't expect a solid climax to a film like this with a bad script. The movie's ending leads me to believe possibly a sequel is on the way, not that I'd be intrigued enough to see it.

More classic creature movies: The Silver Bullet(1985), The Monster Squad(1987), Killer Klowns From Outer Space(1988) and Tremors(1990).

Thank you for reading this review and as Mister Spock always says: live long and prosper.

It's not that The Tank is a completely horrible film.

The acting is rather decent.

The monster is kind of cool (at least it's not horribly rendered with CGI).

And it has a dark and foreboding atmosphere.

The basic premise here, is that a giant storm, in the distant past, washed a bunch of axolotls (or other such amphibious creatures) from the ocean, into the septic tank of a house in a remote community...causing them to mutate into carnivorous human-eating salamanders (or, possibly, reptiles)...as a result of their exposure to human excrement.

At least that is what is implied...I think.

However, it's rather hard to get around the ridiculous logic on which the story is based.

First and foremost, the way the father finds and enters the tank- which supposedly awakens/releases the beast- is absurd.

Literally noone goes to a new place...sees an overgrown grate...and is overcome with the curiosity to lift and enter it.

It's just not plausible, or believable.

And comes off completely forced.

Not to mention, axolotls don't even live in the ocean...and if they did get washed into a septic tank (by some freak course of nature)...that doesn't really meet the criteria of them becoming "land based" creatures.

On top of that...not only is the whole first half of the film incredibly basic...it's also rather boring.

With the introduction of characters (outside of the family) coming off as equally forced as the father entering the septic tank in the first place.

Plus, the way the monster first appears, also doesn't make any sense- as it seems to be some sort of supernatural force, as opposed to an actual flesh and blood creature.

I guess, if you can suspend disbelief- and ignore all the logical inconsistencies around which the story is based- you can garner some enjoyment from watching the film...despite it's mediocrity.

You just have to accept that it is all some sort of divine cosmic intervention, to bring karmic justice upon a family that dabbles in the trafficking of endangered species (for the purpose of the pet trade).

At least they put a little imagination into it...by taking some of the world's cutest creatures...and transforming them into terrifying monstrous beasts, hellbent on the destruction of humanity.

So...there's that, at least.

But I can't help but think that this was a completely avoidable situation.

3.5 out of 10.