- Bill Murray: [singing] It ain't necessarily so, It ain't necessarily so, The things that you're liable, To read in the Bible, It ain't necessarily so...
- Bill Murray: [from Walt Whitman's "Song of the Open Road, 9"] Allons! whoever you are come travel with me! Traveling with me you find what never tires. The earth never tires, The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first, Nature is rude and incomprehensible at first, Be not discouraged, keep on, there are divine things well envelop'd, I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell. Allons!
- Bill Murray: [reading from Ernest Hemingway's "The Moveable Feast"] They say - the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life - the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure.
- Bill Murray: If you want to go, completely understand. But, I just want to make a little pledge to you and I swear on the stage of Socrates and - and Yanni, for God's sake, I swear to you - the worst is over. Okay? Not all of it - but, the very worst is over. Okay?
- Bill Murray: This is the moment in the show where people usually look at one another and say, "Is it too late to get some moussaka somewhere? This isn't quite what we were hoping for." And I understand completely. We all do.
- Bill Murray: [singing Van Morrison's "When Will I Ever Learn to Live in God"] The sun was setting over Avalon, The last time we stood in the west, Suffering long time angels like Blake, Burn out the dross, Innocence captured again, Standing on the beach at sunset, And all the boats keep moving slow, In the glory of the flashing light, In the evening glow...
- Bill Murray: [singing] I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair, Borne, like a vapor, on the summer air, I see her tripping where the bright streams play, Happy as the daisies that dance on her way, Many were the wild notes her merry voice would pour, Many were the blithe birds that warbled them o'er, Oh! I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair, Floating, like a vapor, on the soft, summer air...
- Bill Murray: [singing Bruce Hornsby's "The Way It Is"] That's just the way it is, Some things will never change, That's just the way it is, Ah, but don't you believe them...
- Bill Murray: [reciting the lyrics from Tom Waits' "The Piano Has Been Drinking - Not Me"] The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep, And the combo went back to New York, and the jukebox has to take a leak, And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break, And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the upper deck is on the make, And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking...
- Bill Murray: [reciting Lucille Clifton's poem "blessing the boats"] May the tide, That is entering even now, The lip of our understanding, Carry you out, Beyond the face of fear, May you kiss, The wind then turn from it, Certain that it will, Love your back, may you, Open your eyes to water, Water waving forever, And may you in your innocence, Sail through this to that
- Bill Murray: [singing from a medley of tunes from Leonard Bernstein/Stephen Sondheim's "West Side Story"] I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty, and bright, And I pity, Any girl who isn't me tonight...