Christina Applegate: Debbie Griswold

Vacation

Debbie Griswold

Rusty Griswold: My trip to Walley World when I was a kid was the best time I ever had.
Debbie Griswold: So you just wanna redo your vacation from 30 years ago? Don't you think that's gonna be kind of a letdown?
Rusty Griswold: No, no, no, no. We're not redoing anything. This will be completely different. For one thing, the original Vacation had a boy and a girl. This one has two boys. And I'm sure that there will be lots of other differences.
James Griswold, Rusty Griswold: I've never even heard of the original Vacation.
Rusty Griswold: Doesn't matter. The new Vacation will stand on its own. Okay?

Debbie Griswold: Hey, you know, you never told us why you keep that teddy bear on the front of your truck.
Trucker: Oh, it makes the kids feel more comfortable.
Rusty Griswold: Oh yeah? You have kids?
Trucker: No.

Stone Crandall: Hot damn, Debbie Griswold. You just keep gettin' prettier.
Debbie Griswold: Oh, stop.
Stone Crandall: No, I mean it. You could make hot water come out of the cold faucet.

Rusty Griswold: Well, I thought it'd be fun for the kids to see where you went to college.
Debbie Griswold: Oh, God. Why would that be fun for them, honey?
Rusty Griswold: You can give us a tour. Maybe one of them could study there one day.
James Griswold: Oh, no. No way, man. I've got my sights on something a little more Ivy League.
Debbie Griswold: [under her breath] Huh. Little fucker.
James Griswold: What, Ma?
Debbie Griswold: I love you. That's what I said.

Rusty Griswold: Maybe for lunch we can find a burger place. You know, like a... Like a drive-through burger place.
James Griswold: I don't know, Dad. I think we should steer clear of that.
Rusty Griswold: Good one, James.
Debbie Griswold: All right, enough, you guys. Dad hit a cow, okay? Let's just moo-ve on.
Kevin Griswold: Oh, I got one.
Rusty Griswold: Yeah, let's hear it.
Kevin Griswold: James is a piece of shit.
Rusty Griswold: Kinda missed the point there, buddy.

Rusty Griswold: The four of us are gonna take a little trip.
Debbie Griswold: Paris!
Rusty Griswold: No. Much better. We're driving - to Walley World.
Debbie Griswold: What?
Rusty Griswold: This family's in a rut. We gotta shake things up. Right? Spend a little quality time. And of course, it wouldn't hurt for the boys to learn to get along a little better.
Debbie Griswold: Uh, by locking them in a car together?
Rusty Griswold: Yeah!
Kevin Griswold: This is some bullshit right here!

Rusty Griswold: Never heard that laugh before. I don't like it.
Debbie Griswold: Hold my bag.
Rusty Griswold: Why? You're not actually going on this thing.
Debbie Griswold: Yes, I am. This Chug Run raised thousands of dollars for charity, all right? I might not have gotten good grades while I was here, but at least I did something.
Rusty Griswold: It sounds like you did a lot. You stuck your finger in the dean's penis.
Debbie Griswold: It's not important what I stuck my finger in and what I burnt down. What is important - is that these fuckin' bitches are disrespecting me.
Rusty Griswold: Bitches?

Debbie Griswold: I was a Tri-Pi a long time ago, so... In fact, the Chug Run was my idea.
Heather: It was?
Debbie Griswold: Yeah.
Heather: Wait, are you Debbie Fletcher?
Debbie Griswold: Yeah
Heather: Oh, my shit. Oh, my shit! I can't believe it's you! Guys, come here! Bring over the book! It's Debbie fucking Fletcher.
Debbie Griswold: How do you know who I am?
Heather: Oh, my God, are you kidding me? You're like a legend at Tri-Pi. You're Debbie Do-Anything!
Rusty Griswold: [astonished] Debbie Do-Anything?

Rusty Griswold: That's a 2015 Tartan Prancer.
Debbie Griswold: Did you say "Tartan," honey'!
Rusty Griswold: Yeah. Tartan's the Honda of Albania.
James Griswold: Why'd you get an Albanian car, Dad?
Rusty Griswold: Renting a family car on Memorial Day weekend doesn't leave you with a lot of options. But this baby is pretty sweet. It's got all the latest Albanian technology.

Debbie Griswold: Bring it on. No twit's calling me old. Fuck you. Alright, boobs, pitcher! Let's go. Come on, come on, come on.

Debbie Griswold: Oh, my God. He took all our money, Russ.
Rusty Griswold: All right. Not a best-case scenario. But, hey! He left your book. So, I guess *we* get the last laugh.
Debbie Griswold: Oh, really, honey? We're naked and covered in human waste.
Rusty Griswold: Oh, come on, sweetheart. We don't know that it's human.

Debbie Griswold: He doesn't save anybody's life.
Stone Crandall: Doesn't he? Well, every time he flies that little plane of his, he's saving lives by not crashing. That makes him a hero.

Rusty Griswold: I think I know my wife pretty well, and she wouldn't have done any of those things.
Debbie Griswold: But you know what? What's important is not whether I did them or I didn't do them. What's important is that you guys are idolizing very bad behavior here.
Heather: Uh, ew, you don't sound like Debbie Do-Anything...

Rusty Griswold: Now listen. There are a lot of boys who are born with vaginas. It's very hard for them.
Debbie Griswold: Honey. W-why?
Rusty Griswold: It's a teachable moment, hon. Gender fluidity, right? It's a very serious issue.
James Griswold: I'm not gender-fluid.