- Mickey Milkovich: I've got an idea.
- Lip Gallagher: We're not going to murder anyone.
- Mickey Milkovich: I don't have any ideas.
- Lip Gallagher: I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you!
- Mickey Milkovich: All right shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I'm calling and you not picking up! I'm starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back, Ian! I'm worried about you. I love you. Call me back.
- Kevin Ball: [to Veronica when she's about to give birth] Baby, you know what this means, right? I got a magic dick!
- Steve: And what exactly does "hooked up" mean?
- Kevin Ball: Last time I checked, penis goes into vagina.
- Lip Gallagher: Facts cannot be racist. Many Irish are drunks. Many French smell. Most Chinese hate children, that's why they sell them to Americans.
- Carl Gallagher: [about constantly getting in trouble at school] A shrink at school says I'm one of God's mistakes.
- Sheila Jackson: They're having a party for kids across the street. No booze.
- Frank Gallagher: [smiles] What's the point?
- Frank Gallagher: [shouting while walking around the Chicago waterfront and drinking a beer] I'M *ALIVE,* MOTHERFUCKER!
- Fiona Gallagher: What if he shows remorse?
- Carl Gallagher: What's that?
- Fiona Gallagher: It means you say you're sorry!
- Carl Gallagher: [smirks] I'm not.
- Veronica Fisher: [while giving birth] OB? I need to make an appointment with a vet. I'm havin' a damn litter!
- Kevin Ball: [to Veronica] I thought that's what you ladies wanted. A shared housework, wage equality and all that Hunger Games, Lady Gaga girl power shit!