- Allie Pennington: Any chance you're getting a vision on how it goes?
- Miles: Am I doubled over clutching my head in excruciating pain?
- Allie Pennington: No.
- Miles: Well, there you go.
- Miles: Who said I wanted to be your friend?
- Allie Pennington: You.
- Miles: No, I didn't.
- Allie Pennington: Why are you still talking to me?
- Miles: But I'm not.
- Allie Pennington: Ah, but by saying you're not talking to me, you ARE talking to me. Check and mate.
- Allie's Father: [reading] "As the keepers of the prophecy, it falls to members of the Order to search for potential Arthurs in each and every generation, but beware the Dark Forces, led by a reincarnation of Mordred, determined to find the next Arthur and destroy him before he can realize the prophecy." So, see, what they're saying...
- Allie's Mother: If Arthur isn't found soon, Mordred and his followers will send us back into the Dark Ages - ignorance, humiliation, suffering...
- Miles: [brightly] High school!
- Miles: Tell me again why I'm at a party with a bunch of meathead jocks?
- Allie Pennington: I'm a jock, Miles. Am I a meathead?
- Miles: No, but this party's the first step.
- Miles: I always do my assignments in half the time alloted.
- Allie Pennington: Why?
- Miles: To prove that I'm better than everyone else?
- Allie Pennington: [laughs] And more modest.
- Miles: That, too.
- Allie Pennington: THAT was sarcasm.
- Miles: How's it sarcasm if you're right?
- Allie Pennington: We have to tell Will so he can defend himself.
- Miles: Oh, yeah, that'll be great. "Hey, Will, you're the reincarnation of King Arthur, your step-brother is Mordred, and he's going to try and destroy you. You gonna eat those fries?"
- Allie Pennington: Hmm. Yeah, it's a little out there, isn't it?
- Miles: Yeah, we passed "out there" about five exits back.
- Will Wagner: Listen. Hear the wind in the trees. It's... like music.
- Allie Pennington: Football players aren't supposed to talk like that.
- Will Wagner: You're making fun of me?
- Miles: I don't know how things were at your last school, but around here you can't get any higher than an A, so you can stop trying so hard.
- Allie Pennington: It's called being nice, Miles. You should try it instead of hiding your insecurities behind your snark.
- Allie's Father: So, did someone float your boat?
- Allie Pennington: [laughs] "Float my boat?" What year is this?
- Allie's Mother: He means, do you fancy anyone?
- Allie Pennington: "Fancy..." Really, you guys? Century up.
- Allie Pennington: You know, if Will is King Arthur, and Marco is Mordred, maybe you're Merlin the wizard. Merlin was a psychic.
- Miles: Doubtful. Merlin had a long white beard; I can barely grow a nose hair.
- Coach Barker: Wagner here yet?
- Sean: Not yet, Coach.
- Coach Barker: Welp, we're toast.
- Lance Benwick: Nice pep talk.
- Allie Pennington: We just came in to get some fake armor for the school mascot, Officer.
- Will Wagner: Yeah. I have no idea what Mr. Moore is talking about.
- Miles: And I'm a National Merit Scholar. I don't kidnap teachers - I suck up to them.
- Miles: Avert your eyes.
- Allie Pennington: Excuse me?
- Miles: You're making a tactical error of monumental proportions right now.
- Allie Pennington: By sitting at my desk?
- Miles: By talking to me. I mean, come on, you had a great start. I saw you talking to Captain Everything this morning. You have a chance to be in the poplar group. Don't mess it up.
- Miles: [incanting his first spell] To the owner of the staff, return; the evil hand that holds it, burn.
- Miles: I wonder what they ate in Camalot.
- Allie Pennington: Muton with a side of beets. Mm, and sage water, but only from the north.
- Allie Pennington: [having just heard herself] I didn't even know I KNEW that!
- Marco: Need your little goons to save you from the scary candy bugs?
- Will Wagner: No, I need them to stop me from doing something I'll regret.
- Marco: You really should be more careful. Sometimes, when you get too close to something you shouldn't, you get burned.
- Mr. Moore: Okay, tomorrow we'll be talking about sewage systems in King Arthur's day, so, if I were you, I'd plan on eating a light lunch.
- Miles: You need help.
- Allie Pennington: How do you know I need help?
- Miles: I just know, okay? Isn't that enough?
- Allie Pennington: I don't know how things are at your house, but around here dinner just isn't complete without a King Arthur poem.