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Quotes

Big Bang Theory: A XXX Parody

Edit
  • Leslie: Well, if it isn't the Lonely Ranger and his sidekick Tonto.
  • Raj: I'm a customer service Indian, not a casino Indian.
  • [first lines]
  • Leonard: [dreaming] Slutty Leia. Slutty Leia. Slutty Leia. Slutty Leia.
  • Penny: Hey guys, where are you two headed?
  • Leonard: Hi Penny. We're just going to head downstairs to the comic store.
  • Penny: Oh, yeah, sounds like fun. Dracula must be doing a signing or something.
  • Sheldon: Dracula is nocturnal. Therefore, he would not be able to attend any public events before dusk.
  • Penny: Yeah, there's that... and the whole not being real thing.
  • Penny: What's a Comic-Con? Oh, is that like a guy goes to jail for stealing comic books or something?
  • Hot Brunette: I'd like to come in.
  • Penny: Oh yeah? What do you want to do in there?
  • Hot Brunette: Well, I was thinking maybe we could go online and lookup the Vulcan word for girl-on-girl action.
  • Hot Brunette: Yeah. Right now I'm gonna go lick long and toss her... salad? And after that I'm going to move on back to her Endor.
  • Sheldon: You, Howard, are a geek Richard Nixon.
  • Howard: I prefer to think of myself as a Jewish James Bond. L'Chaim!
  • Raj: And that's when I learned to never take a girl on a date to a Bollywood movie.
  • Sheldon: Because they keep dancing away before you can receive fellatio?
  • Raj: That is correct.
  • Howard: [on the phone] You are not going to believe this. Guess what I'm doing right now.
  • Leonard: I don't know... you're watching The Matrix and jerking off to the thought of a man in a dress co-directing it?
  • Penny: [on her costume choice for Comic-Con] I just haven't decided yet.
  • Leonard: But, we're going over there this afternoon, after you get off work. Don't you think that's kinda important?
  • Penny: Yeah, but if I don't figure it out, I'll just go as myself, okay?
  • Leonard: Why would you want to go as a college dropout?
  • Penny: What did you say?
  • Leonard: Oh boy.
  • Penny: That is not what you said. And, for your information, Len-nerd, the only reason I'm going to this geekfest is because I wanted to spend time with you and get to know you a little better, so maybe you'd take your head out of your comic books and put it between my legs. But instead, you can shove it up your ass.
  • [last lines]
  • Howard: I love the magic of modern technology.
  • Raj: Fer shizzles.
  • Penny: Those two crack me up.
  • Hot Brunette: *Those* nerds, you're kidding me, right?
  • Penny: No, I actually think the short one's kinda cute in like a Harry Potter kinda way.

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