- Norman Babcock: Dad says I'm not supposed to talk to you anymore, Grandma.
- Grandma: Jackass. If I were a poltergeist, I'd throw something at his head.
- Aggie: Aggie... My name was Aggie... I - I remember... My mommy brought me here once. We sat under the tree and she told me stories. They all had happy endings. Then those horrible men came and took me away and I never saw her again!
- Norman Babcock: Sometimes when people get scared, they say and do terrible things. I think you got so scared that you forgot who you are. But I don't think you're a witch. Not really.
- Aggie: You don't?
- Norman Babcock: I think you're just a little kid with a really special gift who only ever wanted people to understand her. So we're not all that different at all.
- Aggie: But what about the people who hurt you? Don't you ever want to make them suffer?
- Norman Babcock: Well, yeah, but what good would that do? You think just because there's bad people that there's no good ones either? I thought the same thing for a while. But there's always someone out there for you. Somewhere.
- Aggie: I just want my mommy.
- Norman Babcock: I'm sorry, Aggie. She's gone.
- Aggie: That story you were telling. How does it end?
- Norman Babcock: I think that's up to you.
- Aggie: Is this where they buried me?
- Norman Babcock: It's a pretty good place to sleep. Then you can be with your mom again.
- Grandma: There's nothing wrong with being scared, Norman, so long as you don't let it change who you are.
- Courtney: [after a night of adventure and danger with zombies and witches, Norman's sister tries to further her relationship with Neil's older brother, whom she regards as "ripped"] So, I was thinking, maybe we could catch a movie sometime. Nothing scary.
- Mitch: [Mitch is looking around the town square, seeming a bit distracted, even calling her by the wrong name] That sounds great, Cathy. You know, you're gonna love my boyfriend. He's like a total chick-flick nut.
- Courtney: [to the angry mob] Everybody, listen up! You all need to stop trying to kill my brother! You're adults! Stop it!
- Mr. Prenderghast: Pssstttt, you know who I am?
- Neil: The weird stinky old bum who lives up the hill?
- Mr. Prenderghast: [Points at Norman] I was asking him!
- [first lines]
- Movie Zombie: Grrr. Brains!
- Grandma: What's happening now?
- Norman Babcock: Well, the zombie is eating her head, Grandma.
- Grandma: That's not very nice. What's he doing that for?
- Norman Babcock: [chuckles] Because he's a zombie. That's what they do.
- Grandma: He's gonna ruin his dinner. I'm sure if they just bothered to sit down and talk it through, it would be a different story.
- Aggie: I burnt the book into dust. Now I don't have to listen to that stupid story anymore! Leave me alone.
- Norman Babcock: No. No, I'm not leaving. Just listen to me! Uhh... Once upon a time, long ago, there was a little girl.
- Aggie: What?
- Norman Babcock: A - a little girl who was different... Who was different from the other people in her village.
- Aggie: I'm not listening! La la la la la...
- Norman Babcock: She could see and - and do things that no one could understand! And that made them scared of her!
- Aggie: I don't like this story!
- Norman Babcock: She turned away from everyone and became sad and lonely, and had no one to turn to!
- Aggie: STOP IT.
- Norman Babcock: The more she turned away from people, the more scared they were of her. And they did something terrible! They became so scared that they took her away and they killed her!
- Aggie: NO.
- Norman Babcock: And even - and even though she was dead, something in her came back!
- Aggie: STOP.
- Norman Babcock: And this part of her, wouldn't go away even after three hundred years!
- Aggie: SHUT UP.
- Norman Babcock: And the longer it stayed, the less there was of the little girl.
- Aggie: I'll make you suffer!
- Norman Babcock: Why?
- Aggie: Because... Because...
- Norman Babcock: Because you want everyone to hurt just as much as you are. So whenever you wake up, you play this mean game, but you don't play fair!
- Aggie: They hurt me!
- Norman Babcock: So you hurt them back?
- Aggie: I wanted everyone to see how rotten they were!
- Norman Babcock: You're just like them, Agatha!
- Aggie: No, I'm not!
- Sandra Babcock: You know, sometimes people say things that seem mean, but they do it because they're afraid.
- Norman Babcock: He's my dad. He shouldn't be afraid of me.
- Sandra Babcock: He's not afraid OF you. He's afraid FOR you.
- Neil: So what do we do now?
- Norman Babcock: Uhh... I... I - I really don't know.
- Courtney: Yes you do, Norman. You've gotta get to that witch's grave.
- Norman Babcock: But...
- Courtney: But nothing, you listen to me, buster. We didn't turn away when Daleridge High was slaughtering our volleyball team, did we?
- Norman Babcock: Yeah, we did.
- Courtney: No, we didn't. I have cheered the un-cheerable, Norman. And I'm not letting you give up now.
- Courtney: OMG, you are such a liar.
- Norman Babcock: God, I'm not making this up, I swear! She talks to me all the time.
- Courtney: Oh, yeah?
- [glares at Norman]
- Courtney: Prove it.
- Norman Babcock: [smirks] She said, it's not very ladylike to hide photos of the high-school quarterback with his shirt off in your underwear drawer.
- [Perry and Courtney go wide-eyed in shock over this reveal.]
- Courtney: [GASP] I knew it! Ugh! You've been sneaking around in my personal... Ugh!
- Norman Babcock: No, I haven't. Grandma told me.
- Courtney: You are the worst!
- [storms off.]
- Norman Babcock: Hey, uh, dad? Grandma says, can you turn up the heating? Her feet are cold.
- [In shock, Courtney pops her gum, and Perry falls off the stool he was standing on and the replacement lightbulb shatters on the ground]
- Sandra Babcock: [sensing her husband's frustration] Now, Perry...
- Perry Babcock: How many times do we have to go through this, son? Your grandmother is dead!
- Sandra Babcock: Do you use free weights? 'Cause your deltoids are *huge*.
- Mitch: I've never used deltoids in my life, I swear! You can test me.
- Perry Babcock: This is where it stops! It's one thing being a mental case in front of your family, but not the whole freaking town! There's not gonna be any more talking to ghosts, or grandmas, or, or... what is it now?
- Sandra Babcock: I think it's trees.
- Perry Babcock: You're grounded! You hear me?
- Norman Babcock: This is ridiculous. I wish everyone could see what I see! I didn't ask to be born this way!
- Perry Babcock: [Perry mutters as he slams his door shut] Funny, neither did we.
- Neil: You can't stop bullying. It's part of human nature. If you were bigger and more stupid you'd probably be a bully, too.
- Sandra Babcock: Norman, I know you and Grandma were very close, but we all have to move on. Grandma's in a better place now.
- Norman Babcock: No, she's not. She's in the living room.
- Perry Babcock: Your grandmother was old and sick, and she died. That's all there is to it.
- Perry Babcock: [Final Lines]
- [Norman changes the TV channel from the local news to the cheesy horror movie he was watching at the beginning, Perry walks in]
- Perry Babcock: Son?
- Norman Babcock: [turns head to greet him] Hi, Dad.
- Perry Babcock: [takes a seat on the couch next to Grandma's spirit] What are you watching?
- Norman Babcock: A scary movie.
- Perry Babcock: Oh. Uh, your grandma here, is she?
- [Grandma looks at Perry in shock, and Norman nods his head yes]
- Perry Babcock: Of course she is. Um, is she, uh? Is she, uh, sitting next to me?
- [Norman nods yes again. Perry adjusts himself to face Grandma]
- Perry Babcock: Hi, Mom.
- [Grandma looks at Norman in shock, but goes back to her knitting as Perry readjusts himself on the couch. Sandra walks in and sits on the chair next to the couch near Grandma and Courtney walks in and sits down on the floor next to Norman]
- Perry Babcock: [at the same time as Grandma] So, what's happening now?
- Grandma: [at the same time as Perry] So, what's happening now?
- [Norman chuckles to himself]
- Courtney: Norman, you need to stop all of this weird stuff, and start living in the real world.
- Norman Babcock: Everyone in the real world thinks I'm a freak! And, you know what? Maybe they're right. Maybe I am a freak. But I never asked for your help! Just go! GET OUT!