Vino Veritas

Ridley: What is wrong with Winnie the Pooh?

Claire: Oh, you want to talk to me about Winnie the Pooh? Is that what you're saying? Well, I'll tell you about Winnie the fucking Pooh. Winnie the Pooh is an obsessive-compulsive addict who will do anything to score his next fix. They say it's honey he's after, but it may as well be crack or crystal meth. He talks about it. He sings about it. He thinks about it every minute of every day. His best friend Piglet? Neurotic and latently gay. Why else would he have a picture of Pooh on his living-room wall? Eeyore? That poor son of a bitch loses body parts on a regular basis and is badly in need of some antidepressants. Owl is utterly delusional. Rabbit is a control freak. Gopher has a horrible speech impediment... talks with a little bit of a lisp, yeah? Tigger is a classic case for the benefits of Ritalin. And I'll tell you right now, I think Roo is just a little bit too old to be hanging out in Kanga's pouch. The Hundred Acre Wood is like some kind of cartoon mental institution!