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S.O.L.
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Zach
: I eat a lot when I'm sad, and I've been sad a lot lately.
Ryan
: That must be tough on you.
Zach
: It is. I also eat when I'm happy, horny, or bored and I'm almost always one of those things.
Allison
: Do you even know what I want?
Zach
: A baby?
Allison
: Well, eventually, but not right now.
Zach
: Good, because I hate those things.
Michael
: I am a big fan of your show Ms. Davidson.
Jenna
: Well, you're the target audience. 18-34 yr old virgins that live in their parents' basement, and rarely shower.
FBI Agent Dax Kramer
: Can I asked you one more thing?
Motel Clerk
: We already said our goodbyes, I don't want this to get awkward.
Ryan
: They can trace those calls, moron!
Michael
: How are they gonna trace Zach on my phone?
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