- Diego: I don't know whats wrong with me: I can't eat, can't sleep; I think I'm coming down with something.
- Manny: [chuckles] I know what you've got: the "L" word.
- Sid: Yeah, leprosy!
- Manny: No, Sid, no. It's four letters, starts with "L", ends with "E".
- Sid: Ah, lice!
- Manny: No. Diego, my friend, is in love.
- Louis: [after Crash and Eddie fling themselves from trees onto the ground] Can I ask you guys something? How are you both so happy; doesn't it weigh on you that the world might be ending?
- Crash: Can I tell him our secret?
- [Eddie nods]
- Crash: [to Louis] Come here, come here... we're very, very... stupid!
- Louis: But still, you're not a teensy bit concerned about... I don't know, say imminent death!
- Crash: [grabs Louis' nose] Beep.
- Granny: [Jumps in ocean] Thanks for drawing my bath, Sidney.
- Sid: Granny, grab my paw.
- Granny: No way. This is my first bath in decades.
- [Oil is seen around her and fish begin to pop up dead around her]
- Diego: There's your proof.
- Sid: Quick! Somebody do something!
- [Manny throws Sid in]
- Sid: I got you, Granny.
- Granny: Get off of me!
- Sid: Ow, ow, ow, ow! Granny!
- [Gets her back in the ice berg]
- Granny: [to Manny and Diego] What are you peeping toms all looking at?
- [They turn around disturbed]
- Granny: A lady can't take a bath in peace? Eyballing me like a rump roast.
- Diego: What's the life expectancy for a female sloth?
- Manny: She'll outlive us all, you know that, right? Yeah, the spifeful ones live the longest.
- Gastornis bird chicks: When you drink water through your trunk, does it taste like boogers?
- Ellie: Uh no... well... Sometimes, Now let's move!
- Diego: [to Shira, who he tries to offer water to] Easy, kitty: water... you need it.
- Shira: [coldly] I don't need anything from you.
- Diego: Fine, die of thirst, that'll really show me.
- Shira: Wait. I'll take it.
- [coldly]
- Shira: Thank you.
- Diego: You know, you have a way of saying "thank you" that makes it sound like drop dead.
- Shira: It's a gift.
- Sid: Mom, Dad, do you have Granny's teeth? She can't find them.
- Granny: [Tries eating apple then tries to give to Sid] Hey! Can you chew this thing for me?
- Sid: Ew, Guys? Where is everyone?
- Diego: I'll handle this. Sid? Uh, your family was wiped out by an asteroid. Sorry.
- Sid: What?
- Manny: What Diego is trying to say is, they left. They only wanted to find you so you could take care of Granny.
- Sid: Oh, come on, what kind of sick family would ditch their own Granny on someone? That's just crazy. That's just... That's just... my family.
- Diego: At least you still have Granny. Right, buddy?
- Sid: Yeah, Granny. Granny? Granny?
- Ellie: Wow. For an old girl, she moves fast.
- Manny: Captain Gutt... really? You know, I have a little paunch too but ah, I wouldn't name myself after it.
- Captain Gutt: [mocking] That's funny; you're a funny guy. But that's not how I got my name.
- [brandishes claws]
- Captain Gutt: *These* got me my name!
- Captain Gutt: Surrender your ship or face my fury!
- Sid: Or face your furry what?
- Captain Gutt: Not furry, fury!
- Ethan: [after escaping from a collapsed tunnel] Yo, that was insane! Hey Peach, loosen up; have some fun.
- Peaches: Fun! You call that fun? I'm outta here.
- Steffie: Come on, I mean do you really want to go back to hanging out with a weird molehog for a week than getting along with us?
- Ethan: I mean, it's bad enough that your family's half possum...
- Peaches: Bad enough? There's nothing bad about being part of my family. I *like* hanging by my tail and if you geniuses are normal, the species is going to end up extinct!
- [leaves]
- Steffie: Ah, yeah. Well, *your* species is going to be extinct first!
- Dumb Mammoth: Haha, *burn*!
- Ethan: We're the same species, geniuses.
- Dumb Mammoth: What... double burn!
- Manny: You two were supposed to be responsible uncles!
- Crash: What? I didn't see Peaches sneak off maybe 15 or 20 minutes ago.
- Eddie: Or that she went with Louis to the falls.
- Manny: The falls? Where the delinquents go?
- Ellie: Relax, it's just where the kids hang out.
- Manny: No, no, it's a gateway hangout. First it's the falls, then she's piercing her trunk, and the next thing you know, she's addicted to berries.
- Ellie: [Chuckling] Manny! You are overreacting. She's not gonna be your little girl forever.
- Manny: I know. That's what worries me.
- Diego: [Roars] Yeah, you don't scare me mother nature! There's nothing you can throw at me that I can't handle.
- [Hears whooping]
- Diego: Huh?
- [Gets hit by log being driven by sloths]
- Eunice: I think we're almost there!
- Milton: We'd better be! I just lost the steering!
- Granny: Has anyone seen Precious? It's her feeding time.
- Marshall: Mom! Granny's talking about her dead pet again.
- Uncle Fungus: Hey, paws up, everybody!
- Marshall: Paws down, Uncle, please! That is nasty.
- Uncle Fungus: Whoo-hoo!
- Eunice: Be careful, Milton, you're gonna hurt somebody!
- [Diego tries to reach safety]
- Eunice: Aah! Bad kitty!
- Marshall: Rock!
- Granny: [Diego flies into Granny] Whoo!
- Diego: [When log has finally stopped] That was fun. Now, who should I eat first?
- Eunice: [to Sid] I never thought I would see my little baby again, we've been searching everywhere for you.
- Sid: You have? I knew it, I knew it! Deep down I knew I wasn't abandoned.
- Marshall: Ah, that's incorrect, we totally abandoned you.
- Eunice: But we always missed you.
- [sharply to Milton]
- Eunice: Right?
- Milton: Yeah, right! Yeah, yeah, yeah... and we just knew Sid would want to see his poor dear Granny before... her time is up.
- Granny: [angrily] I'll bury y'all and dance on your grave!
- Captain Gutt: [after seeing how the hyraxes tricked him] Oh, no: it's been a diversion.
- Flynn: I know; I'm having a blast.
- Captain Gutt: No, pinhead, they're stealing my ship!
- Uncle Fungus: [during a log ride] Hey, paws up, everybody!
- Marshall: Woah! Paws down, uncle, *please*, that is nasty!
- Shira: [after Manny and the herd escape] Gutt, I can explain.
- Captain Gutt: [seizes Shira by the throat] When this ends, I'll have a tiger skin hanging on my wall. I don't care whose. That mammoth has taken my ship, my bounty and now the loyalty of my crew! I will destroy him and everything he loves.
- [last lines]
- Ariscratle: [to Scrat, who is about to pull the plug on Scratlantis] No! Stop! Brother, rise above this base desire; be more than a rodent.
- Captain Gutt: [in the middle of a duel] You know this ocean isn't big enough for the both of us!
- Manny: Don't worry, you won't take up much space once I flatten you!
- Captain Gutt: [to Manny and his herd] Ahoy, down there! How lucky are you? You know these waters are infested with pirates! Glad we found you before they did: Captain Gutt, here to help.
- Captain Gutt: [extending a "hand"] Morning, sunshine! Let me be the first to extend a hand of friendship.
- Manny: That's your foot.
- Manny: Ellie, you have to get out here! Go! Go now! Stay alive! No matter how long it takes, I will find you!
- Flynn: [after the ship is sunk, Flynn flounders around in the water] They sank our battleship, what are we gonna do? We're all gonna drown!
- Captain Gutt: [grabs him by the trunk] Flynn! You're a sea creature, you idiot!
- Flynn: [sees this] Oh! Quite, sir.
- [starts swimming]
- Captain Gutt: [to Shira] You're a failure. I need warriors, and all I have are kitty cats and bunny rabbits!
- Flynn: And a seal and a kangaroo!
- Manny: [to Gutt on joining his crew] Look, as much as I'm tempted to join a monkey, the Easter Bunny and a giant bag of pudding, I'll pass. No one's gonna stop me getting back to my family.
- Sid: Granny?
- Diego: Granny?
- Manny: Granny?
- Sid: Come out, come out wherever you are!
- Manny: Come on, Granny.
- Sid: Here, Granny, Granny. I have prunes for you! Just the way you like them!
- [spits them out of his mouth]
- Diego: Ugh.
- Manny: Aw! I don't wanna see that. Huh?
- [suddenly spots Peaches running off]
- Manny: Oh, no.
- Silas: It's a huge bounty, Capitaine: four passengers ripe for the taking: One very smelly and one very plump.
- Captain Gutt: In my ocean: what a terrible turn of events. I love a terrible turn of events.
- Manny: Peaches, come on. Let's talk about this!
- Peaches: [snapped] How could you embarrass me in front of my friends?
- Manny: You deliberately went where you weren't supposed to!
- Peaches: Ugh! You can't control my life!
- Manny: I'm trying to protect you! That's what fathers do!
- Peaches: Well, I wished you weren't my father!
- [Manny feels shocked at what Peaches angrily said, she sadly walks off]
- Ellie: She's just upset, honey. Peaches, it's not the end of the world.