Creature

I've always been a fan of blood, gore and guts. I would watch anything that fell under the genre of Horror. I've seen all the Friday the 13ths, Nightmare on Elm Streets, and Halloweens; I've seen all the Jeepers/Creepers, Texas Chainsaw Massacres, and Saws; and I've watched most of the classic Dracula, Frankenstein, Wolfman, Invisible Man and Creature from the Black Lagoon movies. Some of my all-time favorite Horror films have been the less mainstream films though; such as Killer Klowns from Outer Space and the cult classic Evil Dead. When I was asked if I was interested in passes to see a screening of Creature, I couldn't resist. I'd seen a trailer for the movie and knew that it was definitely a "low-budget" film; and with low-budget films comes low expectations.

Using a budget of approximately $3,000,000, an extremely small amount by Hollywood standards), Fred Andrews III makes his directorial debut. The most notable actor in Creature is horror film stalwart Sid Haig, mostly known for playing Captain Spaulding in the movies House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. Sadly, Haig basically just plays a dumbed down version of Spaulding and sadly his is extremely underutilized because he's the best thing in the movie. The "creature", if you will, is not a computer generated image but is merely someone wearing a costume; similar to the way it was done back in the "good old days." Regrettably the comparison to the "good old days" stops there. Yes, there's the nudity, and quite a bit more than the standard gratuitous, there's pot smoking and drunkenness; but, the shock factor is lacking. The kill scenes show very little gore…if any at all. The characters are underdeveloped, giving you no one to relate to or to root for. The witty humor is dull and the dialogue isn't much better. There really isn't much that actually works.

Grade: F

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I want my 1.5hr back. Have never felt the need to criticize before, but this one takes the cake. Worst film of the year! The creature in CREATURE is some guy in a silly plastic mask. Kill scenes contain virtually no gore. It wasn't even fun watching the poor characters getting killed. I mean, what is the sense of watching something like this anyway. Total waste of time!

Gratuitous sex/nudity was alright. Nothing special. More sex in recent remake of Piranha, not to mention way MORE gore. Want a better movie? - Watch that one instead. If you want to waste your time watching a really bad movie, then watch this one. Pacing of movie was also terrible. No suspense whatsoever. Lots of chatter and very little substance.

Another movie about backwoods freaks preying on unsuspecting young travelers usually visiting, passing thru, or detained. In this movie they are traveling thru Loisiana to the city of New Orleans. And the backwoods freaks this time are a bunch of people who've made a pact with a "Gatorman"; part man, part alligator. This pact is steeped in religion and appears cultish. They give Gatorman what he wants and he gives them what they need. What he wants is tender, sweet, female flesh for dinner and sex. In return, he gives his worshipers what they need. Perpetuation; continuity. The cult are bred or born from incestuous sex; the women of which are sacrificed regularly to Gatorman (I'm only the messenger, folks).

Legend has it that circa 19th century, the Boteen (spell check) family, who lived reclusively deep in the swamps, were concerned about their lineage because their family tree was thinning out due to sterility. You know the saying: "Desperate situations call for desperate measures"? --Well it was up to 2 Boteens, Caroline and Grimley, who were brother and sister to save the Boteens from extinction. On the eve of their wedding, while they were frolicking on the swamps filled with love and anticipation of their union, a white gator rose up from the swamps and took Caroline. Grimley goes after her, finds the animals larder, but she's already dead. He kills the gator, but is overcome by grief and goes mad. He begins to consume the gators store of human remains (including sister Caroline) and "Gatorman" --who looks like a cross between a linebacker, a gorilla, and a reptile-- is born.

After seeing an old flier made for tourists daring them to go to Grimeley's old home in the swamps and directions to get there from a storekeeper, six young people, 3 guys and 3 girls, decide to make a side trip from their journey to visit the old house of legend (I think we agree, reader, that this can't be good). This movie is not a bad entry into the "Backwoods Freaks" genre. But instead of some psycho with a love for sharp things and torture after you, this time it's a Gatorman aided by a religious inbred cult. I would say that action and story-wise, it's fair. I did have a little problem with the way the lead in this movie took a bullet and didn't even limp after. As well, he got a pummeling from Gatorman that should have (in my opinion) broken every bone in his body. Bit of credibility lost there, I think. Still, if you understand that these type of movies are what they are; that they can often be a bit amateurish (some of the writing and directing here; the acting was okay) and a bit exploitive (some nudity with the violence in this one) and that they are designed strictly for entertainment and revenue, then most likely you would accept this entry into the Backwoods Freak genre as a fair one. Love, Boloxxxi.

Man i've watched some garbage movies lately. Monster brawl, dear god no, and then this. Im gunna try and go catch batman in theaters tonight to remind myself that good movies do exist. Basically everything in this movie is something we have seen before. Teens go to creepy rest stop, locals creep em out, they go somewhere they are warned not to go, locals terrorize them but there's more to be worried about, the creature. The creature is about the only remotely memorable part of this movie, it looked semi-cool but doesn't actually do anything worth talking about. Pretty much all the deaths happen off screen and we are shown maybe a severed limb or the spray from an attack but never the full out carnage so the death scenes are easily forgettable. The characters are all of the same characters from any other movie like this but at least the women show a lot of tits. plenty of nudity in this movie. Its all well made but nothing new or memorable at all I should have turned this movie off half way through like i did those other two.

I could tell this movie was going to be great when we walked into the theater and no one else was there. I had expected it to be awful from the get go, but it surprised me by also being completely nonsensical. What looks like a typical "monster eats a bunch of teens in the woods" movie is actually much more convoluted. Throughout, I couldn't shake the feeling that this had started off as a kinky softcore porn that accidentally mutated into a horror movie somewhere along the way. While the breasts all gave a moving performance, the rest of the cast left something to be desired. Of course, that could have just been the weird script. There should have been subtitles for the 40% of the dialogue that was delivered in fake Cajun accents, but what we could understand didn't make things any clearer. I mean, yeah, we got the gist of it, but we just kept asking why. Why did anyone do anything that they did in this film? I guess it's up to the viewer to decide. Audience participation!

I have no idea what the writer and director had on their minds when they set this baby up, but I'm pretty sure I can tell you what they didn't: logic, character development, timing, or continuity. If you love bad horror movies like I do, you might enjoy this, but honestly we spent more time being confused than laughing. Plus I kept waiting for it to stop beating around the bush and just turn into Deliverance 2 already, but it never did.