The Killing Tree

Obviously if you're going to go the route of a slapstick type killer on the loose, you need to know your film is a comedy. This clearly doesn't. Not a single joke in the film. Unless if you count them using the Star of David instead of a pentagon as a joke, but I'm pretty sure that was just a production error. This could've been an instant cult classic like Jack Frost, heck, all they really need to do is re-record the voice over of the tree and make him funny. Like if the tree were to strangle someone with lights have the tree say "lighten up" or if the tree kills a barking dog say "all bark, no bite" or if the tree kills a topless girl with his roots or whatever, have him say "got wood?" It's really not hard to make this concept worth watching. And it wouldn't cost too much to redo the ADR and make some cash.

Plot

On Christmas Eve, a widow casts a spell to resurrect her executed husband. However, when the spell goes wrong, the husband is brought back as an Evil Christmas Tree and is hell-bent on getting revenge on the one who caused his execution.

Cast

The usual suspects that you expect to see in Uncorked and ITN movies, truly dreadful for the most part who have absolutely no place in the industry especially Marcus Massey who puts in a career worst here.

Verdict

I went in assuming a novelty comedy horror, I knew it was almost certainly going to be bad especially considering the creators and cast but expected at least that novelty value which could make up for it.

I didn't expect it to be this bad, it truly is abysmal. You see the novelty element is worn thin by just how bad it is, the horror is barely present and the comedy? I think they forgot to implement that. I mean how exactly do you make a movie about a killer Christmas tree and leave out the comedy? It's actually played serious and that couldn't possibly work!

Sometimes the tree is practical, sometimes it's CGI, sometimes it's 5ft sometimes it's 50ft, the acting from our villains is comically terrible, the dialogue from the tree is some of the worst I've ever heard. It's not that it's bad, it's just repetitive and generic to a level I never thought was possible. You have to hear it to believe it.

So there it is, it's not funny, it's not worth it for the novelty value, it's not film so bad it's worth a giggle, it's just bad.

Rants

Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire Marcus Massey please retire That's my rant, seriously he's so bad.

Breakdown

Strange concept at least Not funny Not scary Awful cast Marcus Massey Terrible CGI Dreadful dialogue.

Listen, you're gonna read the description and groan. You're probably gonna see low "critic" reviews and you're going to write this one off. DO NOT DO THAT. Listen to fans of low budget horror, like myself. This, at the very least, will find itself in your "so bad it's good" column if you let it. The CGI is laughable, and most of the kills are part of that CGI, but that's actually part of the charm here! Watching these cheesy CGI kills made me chuckle, and it's a big part of what kept me entertained until the end.

If you are a fan of movies like Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2, Thankskilling, CarousHELL, and so on, this is right up your alley.

If you like out of control, fun and ridiculously over the top movies...this is a keeper. The kills were well done, and everything was so much fun to watch. This genre is severely underrated, and needs more of these types of holiday horror. I really hope they make a part 2 for this, and keep it going. I couldn't get enough of this and was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what ridiculous event would happen next to the cast. If u like we'll done B holiday horror movies, this is a must see. This is a great holiday movie and should be shown every year. You can't go wrong with this, see it immediately.

I love bad B-Movie style horror, as long as it is entertaining, and this was! The film is about a women resurrecting her dead husband into killer Christmas tree, so this is exactly as dumb as you expect it to be, and glorious!

People die in all kinds of fun, dumb, and brutal ways. And this being done by the Christmas tree is the selling point of the film. The acting is sadly a bit of a mixed bag, some people really selling it, and others being a bit flat.

But honestly I had so much fun with how gloriously bad this film was, and the film knew it was a dumb concept, but just went with it and had fun with it. So definitely for those who want dumb bad horror.