User reviews

I was misguided by the fake reviews in IMDb: see that all the good reviews belong to persons with only one review promoting this garbage.

The plot is ridiculous, absurd, unrealistic and absolutely unbelievable. A crew of watermen abducts persons in boats to grind their flesh and make bait for fishes and crabs. Six youngsters have their motor yacht sabotaged and they are stranded in the sea. The crew of a trawler rescues them and they drink spiked water and faint. When they wake up, they learn that they are trapped in an island and they have to fight against the sadistic men to survive.

A yacht that does not have batteries to support GPS and other safety systems; a guy that sabotages the boat, steals the supplies, water and flares in a couple of minutes; the watermen are practically indestructible; Mike insists in returning many times, inclusive when he is escaping in a small boat and Bret is wounded and he wants to return to seek medical supply. A question: what happened with the boat and Captain Ray? In the end, what else could I expect from a movie where Jason Mewes is the lead actor? My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Maré de Sangue" ("Tide of Blood")

I have a chance last Saturday to watch it and man i regret it big time..being slasher freak i like these kind of movies even if they have low ratings but this was something beyond bearable...The thing which annoys you most is the main leads acting.They uttering dialogs without even a little bit of expression and soon you will realize that you are watching a teen comedy rather then a horror movie.I think the makers of this after watching turisates,ferryman and storm warning,mix them and end result is this film.If you want to spoil your Saturday night then this is a treat for you and if you don't then stay away form this.One word..HORRIBLE.

If you're going to make a low budget slasher (as this is supposed to be) then it has to have an adequate amount of nudity and gore and this had neither. The nudity was nothing more than a few brief topless scenes and the gore was very mild. There is no point complaining about the acting as you don't expect much from a low budget 'horror' but this also was very wooden from beginning to end.

I can't think of a single redeeming feature that would make the movie worthwhile watching. All they really had to do was to make the violence more extreme, shorten the filler scenes by half and possibly throw in some good titillation and it could have been watched on fast forward.

Avoid the movie unless you're very easily shocked or have been watching grass grow for the past ten years.

Having seen the trailer for this film, I thought it looked quite promising, I was pulled in by the fact that Jason Mewes was in it and am a fan of the Jay and Silent Bob films. What a disappointment throughout, hammy acting and a poorly thought out story line make for a long drawn out waste of an hour and a half. Jason Mewes tries his best to revive the Jay character that he is famous for, but fails dismally. It is almost embarrassing to watch as he does it. I wouldn't even recommend this film as a last resort, pure drivel! The only thing I found mildly enjoying was finding the story flaws, of which there are many.

must be something an intellectual challenge for a producer of a horror film to bring something new to the genre table . Imagine the screenplay of THE WATERMEN in development

" Hmmm . Horny teenagers in peril . How we going to bring a new angle to this premise ? "

" I know . Let's make it as unpleasant as possible and set it on a remote boat yard ? "

Hardly an original idea setting it in a boatyard but one thing the producers have done in way of qualified success is to make the film as unpleasant as possible .. I've seen a lot of horror films that more often than not have bored me rigid . Not so with THE WATERMEN . It's a slasher flick crossed with torture porn and while the torture is very graphic the operative word from the phrase " torture porn " isn't " torture " but " porn " . . By accident or design director Mark L Lockhart seems to linger a bit too long on the bodies of the female characters as they're physically abused by the watermen of the title . . The on screen violence is genuinely shocking and brutal so much so that I was tempted to switch off a few times . If the agenda of this film is to disturb and alienate the audience then it's mission accomplished but my own opinion is that even a horror film should have an element of morals and entertainment value and THE WATERMEN has none of these important things

Three guys and three girls charter a fishing cruise. The boat breaks down and they are distressed as they drift helplessly in the ocean. They are finally rescued by a passing fishing trawler which gives them water. They eagerly drink up and pass out from the tampered bottles. It's a brutal ocean cruise of horrors as the cannibal fishermen gleefully torture the young people.

This is simple torture porn. It's not that imaginative. The guys are too douchey. The girls are all T&A. The girls do end up with individual characters after escaping their bonds. This movie does certain things well but nothing great. The fishermen need to be more specific. I could never be certain how many they are exactly. There are some gruesome kills. This is only for fans of this type of torture porn horror who don't expect much.

Awesome flick from first time director. Shooting on location in parts of his hometown. Mr. Lockhart does they area proud and any boost to the local economy is always welcome. Keep at it. Would love to see more of his work. And other reviewers who complain it is like other horror movies, are you serious. All movies are derivative of each other. Get a grip and enjoy something for once. Internet junkies who harp on other creativity need to sit back and relax. Enjoy a film for films sake. No one responds to your constant complaining. Give it a shot.Does what every horror film director should and has a cameo. Way to go Hitchcock. Love Jay Mewes would see him in anything.

I know part of the reason I liked it is because I grew up on the Chesapeake down in Tidewater, VA but that's not the only reason. It was as fun and believable as any other slasher flick. Does anyone really expect a slasher to be believable? I think back to other "classic" slashers like Friday the 13th, The Hills Have Eyes or Texas chainsaw and ask myself did these other reviewers think they were believable or did they think the characters in those made all the right decisions? I guess my point is if you want slick, pretty and believable you're watching the wrong type of movies. Go for the big budget, big names, Hollywood blockbusters and even then you're going to be disappointed most of the time.

What I did find in this movie was better acting then in most B movies. I'm not talking about the way the characters were written but the actual delivery of lines. They were more natural then a lot of B movies. Not saying these guys will be getting awards but it was passable. The story itself was decent, sure it was far fetched but again what hillbilly, slice em & dice em, slasher fest isn't? The best part of all I thought was the production quality and as someone else said the camera-work. It didn't have that B-movie feel. I thought it was pretty slick looking for the money they had according to IMDb. Pyros & FX were decent as well. I guess my biggest complaint would be I couldn't always understand what the watermen were saying, nor could I always tell which was which. But I didn't need either of those things really, they were just "The Watermen" and they were the bad guys.

So if you want slick and you want academy winning actors maybe you should go see something like Prometheus (notice I didn't say believable) but if you just want a fun slasher with some nice visuals to waste an afternoon with check this one out.

This thriller starts in medias res, as a girl is being hunter at night in the swamp by a couple of hulking goons in fishermen's attire. After she meets her fate, we are introduced to six fine pieces of trash Americana leisuring in a posh villa. The 3 girls look right out of a bikini-happy euro-dance music video and the 3 guys, who use "Dude" at the beginning of each sentence, probably hit the gym 3 times a day. This fine group of clueless bourgeoisie get ready for a fishing trip (duh ?) in the middle of the sea.

Before they embark, they stop by some kind of store run by an old fisherman that sells them "special" bait. Turns out the bait if made of human flesh, as the 6 airheads will soon discover.

To its credit, this movie is slickly directed and photographed. Nocturnal swamp scenes could have easily turned into one giant black screen with dialogue in any other B-movie, but the director of photography knew what he was doing. It all looks quite professional.

It's all the more sorry that there's not a single novel idea in the movie that could save it from instant disposability. Clichés abound, and quite cringe-worthy ones, I'll tell you : one of the girls, who didn't know what she was getting into, is actually the lead's former girlfriend, of course they fall in love again, everybody gets drunk before the drama begins, the first ones to die are the hottest and dumbest but they still show their tits, the villains talk some kind of Russian, the main goon comes back from the dead so often that you feel like you're watching another "Friday the 13th" installment, the male lead drops his shirt for completely out-of-place action sequences, there's a baton-of-fire fight that looks more like capoeira than a real fight for survival, and I forget some.

This movie's been done before a hundred times (and the director must have seen all hundred) spanning the whole gamut of Hollywood genres : survival, action, romance, stoner comedy... Still, it's done professionally, and past the 1st 40 minutes, it moves fast enough that an undemanding audience will have its fun, as did I. And it doesn't hurt that the whole cast (male & female) is goddamn gorgeous and not shy of dropping their tops.

While it's always weird saying that you enjoy a movie with torture in it (it's only a movie I know), this one easily can be called a torture itself. There are almost no redeeming factors at all. Even if you are a Jason Mewes fan, you will wish he goes back to Kevin Smith (or vice versa) and they start making movies together again. Let's just say his output alone has not really got me excited.

But it would be unfair to put this all on his shoulders. He is trying, though even he can't help but burst out sentences that not only make no sense, but are completely insane. Some nudity and some good (not that many though) blood effects will not cover the mess up that this movie leaves behind. And I don't think the end will surprise. It shouldn't

Having read some of the other 14 reviews of The Watermen, I was almost tempted not to watch it (even though I was given a copy for free). Come on people, you knew before you watched this movie that is was a low- budget, no-big-name (including the director) effort!

Sure, it was no blockbuster either but it wasn't all THAT bad! Sure, there were some rather stupid bits - like, for example (and as someone else pointed out) where the last surviving "good guy" insists on going back to the place of absolute terror "to get medical supplies" - NO ONE in such a situation would EVER make such an idiotic suggestion! But, allowing for the fact that no viewer has ever BEEN in such a situation, how do we know how we might behave? Has anyone thought about that?

Sure, the plot was somewhat bizarre (to say the least) - but then aren't most horror movies like that? I mean, no one who was dead came back from the dead - again and again - as they do in some much higher-rated horror flicks. I would have liked to see some of the bad guys get more graphically dealt with - like, at least as bad as they were dishing out and there is no doubt that the avid horror-flick addicts would have appreciated that but, all-in-all, The Watermen was all that bad and, contrary to what someone suggested, a lot more fun than watching grass grow!

THE WATERMEN is one of the most terrible of slasher films: one of those films that's completely fake from beginning to end. The awful script was written by somebody with a tin ear who just has no feel for proper, realistic dialogue; what we get instead are insults traded between a group of jerks, the kind of characters who can't die quickly enough.

The storyline is predictable in the extreme and not dissimilar to the similar Icelandic flick, HARPOON. A group of annoying youths take a boat out into the water, only to find themselves subjected to sabotage. They're subsequently rescued by the crew of a fishing boat who turn out to have less than charitable intentions.

The appalling Jason Mewes unfortunately plays the horrid leading character, who gets way too much screen time. He's surrounded by fat, ageing guys playing the villains and various silicon-enhanced bimbos (who spend their entire time parading around in and out of bikinis) as his associates. The gore, when it comes, is entirely lacking and the film as a whole stinks to high heaven. You have been warned.

Um, like in every slasher movie since the 1970s Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Before I watched The Watermen, I read some pretty terrible reviews on it (and then watched it anyway). Okay, it's no masterpiece, but its overall flaw is its lack of originality. It's about a group of teenagers who go on a boat and get picked off by a gang of mumbling nasty fishermen on another boat who want to turn them into fishfood. Basically, it's Texas Chainsaw on water.

It's very low budget. Therefore don't expect too much gore and any nudity is pretty fleeting.

After watching the film I couldn't really think of anything that bad about it, apart from I've seen it all before - not just once, but dozens of times. It's basically a carbon copy of every slasher film that's gone before it.

Bottom line: there's nothing wrong with Watermen, but there's nothing original enough to make it right.

I loved this movie. I found it extremely impressive for a first time filmmaker and director. It included all of the ingredients of an excellent horror movie: eye candy, terrifying villains, creepy locations and scenery, tons of action and suspense (including massive explosions), and even a few good laughs. "The Watermen" had just the right amount of gore and nudity to keep an audience horrified and titillated without being overdone like I have seen in a lot of recent films in this genre. It's great to see a film that adds to all aspects of the genre and really stands out.

The story line was very well development and kept me on the edge of my seat! I enjoyed ever minute of this film and highly recommend it.

A truly disgustingly sick film that exploits women and glorifies sadistic misogyny. Cheaply made and a purely amateur effort at film making, this is not a horror film at all. It is the definition of torture porn. Women are violated, abused, murdered, and mutilated in every conceivable manner (any manner that a disturbed mind can conceive of, that is). Watching female butchery and listening to the plaintive, horrific cries of agony coming from helpless victims is neither art or entertainment. What is depicted here is not only ugly and extreme, it seems almost criminal. This is all simulated, of course, but at what point does the joy film makers take in such simulation become simply depraved self-gratification? This movie goes over the line from horror movie to an exercise in maniacal brutalization of women in graphic detail for no other reason than...? There is no reason. And no justification or excuse possible for this motion picture excrement. This amounts to an act of sociopathic acting out by mentally ill individuals allowed access to all that's needed to produce a cheap movie with nothing redeeming in it whatsoever. There are institutions offering the kind of help such so-called film makers desperately need. They should seek it out immediately before inflicting more emotional damage on an unsuspecting public and society.

This movie is terrible.

The acting is absolutely awful and the storyline isn't good enough to save the movie from the pathetic acting.

10 star reviews are clearly made by the cast and crew or their friends. No one else could possibly give this higher than maybe a 3 or 4 max.

It deserves 1 star and that's what I'm giving it.