The Only Way Is Essex

I literally do not know where to start.

The fact that this travesty of a "show"(?) is called "entertainment" makes my stomach turn. I certainly got no entertainment out of watching the pitifully inane lives of these imbeciles, it just got me so mad I wanted to destroy every TV in existence. The supposed hook of this series is that it is funny because these people are so stupid. No. This level of idiocy just makes me lose faith in humanity and the media. And any sentient being in the universe. There should be a 0/10 marking made, JUST for this show, because "awful" doesn't do The Only Way Is Essex justice. To be honest, I can't think of word to describe it. The most intelligent thing you will see on The Only Way Is Essex is the opening sequence. Beyond that, it is a wasteland.

Ironically, "The Only Way Is Up" is used as the theme song. Oh, the irony. Up is way north of where this show is headed.

In short, watching The Only Way Is Essex will: fill you with insatiable rage, make you want to purge the world of TV's to save the world from it, make you give up on life, then lower your IQ.

You have been warned.

Never thought I'd waste my time watching rubbish like this,but after having taken a look at "Jersey Shore" and seeing how bad it was I thought there could be nothing worse than that!I was wrong.A friend mentioned it can get worse and told me about this show.

The Only Way is Essex has got to be the most retarded TV series ever made and that is why you gotta take a look if only for five minutes and then never go back.I don't know why MTV waste their time,but I suppose if you can't be the best you might as well be the worst!Its obviously their angle in television.

There is one thing they got right?Everyones a moron!

As a 23 year old, I guess the whole partying night in and out clubbing shtick is supposed to appeal to my demographic, but that's impossible when these lame (some well into their 30s) tools try desperately hard to act like wild college frats. If that isn't bad enough, this show is a snooze fest. I didn't laugh once, and you know you have gem when these grown adults drag through cheesy one liners that will cure insomnia. Congrats England, you have found yourself your own Jersey Shore.

If you can choke down mindless dribble, then this show is for you. If you enjoy a bunch of egotistical narcissists in a never ending game of try-to-be-witty, all of whom fail, then this is for you.

Following the mould of MTV reality shows like "Jersey Shore" and "The Hills", "The Only Way is Essex" follows the supposed lives of a group of nouveau-riche twenty-somethings in Essex, adhering to the common stereotypes of the respective county - big yet tasteless houses, huge nightclubs and wild parties, tarty blondes coated in fake tan (with a token gay friend at their side), manly men who enjoy doing manly things, and of course, a no-nonsense grandmother who's fiercer than an RAF division. In a departure from a good number of British reality shows, the scenes are almost all evidently staged and cut, with a perfect level of soap-opera histrionics and bad acting thrown in for good measure. As such, the show comes across as a parade of cardboard cutouts devoid of any personality against a set of sterile backdrops.

It's little more than a piece of trash that makes everyone in Essex out to be superficial and stupid, but I have to question whether anyone thought it was going to be good in the first place. This type of programme hooks the viewer in its knowing awfulness; it's so appalling that it becomes morbidly engaging. To TV executives, this means good ratings and the chance to make money off a cheap franchise. Yes, it's depressing that shows such as "The Only Way is Essex" exist, but it's ultimately simply worth just ignoring.

I've occasionally watched over the years & each season's getting worse. I've stopped watching now. Main issues are:

1. The Cast.

The longer serving cast members are repeatedly going through the same storylines & convo's e.g. Amber & Dan, Lockie & Yaz.

One of these types is apparently "over the drama" - in which case, they should be on a spin-off show so that people can specifically opt to watch their mellow conversations, and or they can stay but take a supporting role. Focus should turn to newer cast e.g. Ella, Joey, Chloe B & her mum etc.

2. There's barely any drama. If they need ideas, they should watch MIC on Channel 4.

3. Dull filming locations.

They mainly film in the same 4 places: park or garden / someone's house / the gym / a dark empty club.

If Essex as a location allows, they would benefit from finding a nice, brightly lit bar or restaurant - or somewhere glamorous / enticing.