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Bill Hader, Alia Shawkat, Rachel Bilson, Sarah Steele, Andy Samberg, Scott Porter, Aubrey Plaza, Johnny Simmons, Donald Glover, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse in The To Do List (2013)

Quotes

The To Do List

Edit
  • Judge Klark: There are doors we don't do. The back door is one of them.
  • Brandy Klark: Don't you have a dick to suck?
  • Amber: Several! Unlike you, fucktard!
  • Brandy Klark: Cluck you!
  • Amber: Cluck? Say fuck, you loser.
  • Willy: Where are you going?
  • Cameron: I need some air!
  • Willy: It's an outdoor pool.
  • [Brandy rides up to the Big Bun drive-through speaker on her bike]
  • Fiona: Welcome to Big Bun, may I take your order?
  • Brandy Klark: I've decided to lose my virginity to Rusty Waters.
  • Fiona: Would you like fries with that?
  • Brandy Klark: No.
  • Willy: Brandy, what do you think would have happened if I hadn't shown up?
  • Brandy Klark: I probably would have swallowed.
  • Judge Klark: Oh my God, it's the slutty Oompa Loompas.
  • Brandy Klark: I plan on getting finger-banged tonight.
  • Wendy: I think it's finger-blasted.
  • Fiona: No, it's finger-bombed, bitches.
  • Cameron: Brandy, you gave me a handjob. Dosn't that mean anything to you?
  • Brandy Klark: No, it's a handjob.
  • Brandy Klark: Haha, very Caddyshack of you.
  • Willy: What does she mean by Caddyshack?
  • Brandy Klark: It's weird, huh? It's like the minute you give up control you just know what to do without doing anything.
  • Cameron: Sex is a big deal, but it's also not a big deal. Don't get me wrong, it's a big deal. But it doesn't have to be such a big deal.
  • Brandy Klark: No. No, it doesn't.
  • Cameron: I guess what I mean is, sometimes sex is just sex.
  • Brandy Klark: Yeah, sometimes sex is just sex.
  • [Judge Klark walks in and finds Amber and Willy having sex]
  • Judge Klark: Get off my house and out of my daughter!
  • Amber: Dad, gross!
  • Judge Klark: You know what I mean!
  • Willy: Look, it's the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
  • Van: A judge? Who do you think you are, Lolita? I mean, you lured me in. You sought me out, and then you lie to me? What's that about? Oh that's good. I think I just wrote a song.
  • Amber: Enjoy your penis!
  • Max: You learn something new at the pool every day!
  • Brandy Klark: Well, let's get to work, vagina.

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