Almighty Thor

I have made no secret of disliking The Asylum/SyFy's output, there is the odd exception where some films of theirs are tolerable but neither come close to very good/masterpiece status, most are bad and quite a lot bottom of the barrel quality. Almighty Thor belongs in the bottom of the barrel category, and I can only think of about 3 of their films that are worse than this(Titanic II, Alien vs. Hunter and The Apocalypse).

Absolutely nothing about Almighty Thor works. The production values are really quite poor. Haphazard editing, some really odd camera angles and some of the most crude CGI effects in any of The Asylum's films. The dialogue is laughable, although a lot of the film from The Asylum/SyFy have this problem the dialogue here really takes the biscuit. Not much effort is seemingly put into the story or characters here, the story is never secure in the pace-some scenes feel rushed(the ending) and others feel pedantic(the middle)- and is never interesting, while the characters are not developed or used well at all and nothing is done to make me engage with them. The acting all round is also appalling, Cody Deal is very uncharismatic and can't act his way out of a paper bag no matter how hard he tried.

Overall, not only one of the worst so far of the year and also one of the worst to come from The Asylum. 0/10 Bethany Cox

I caught this on Syfy, and I wish I could make them take it back. The plot centered around Loki trying to destroy the earth by killing Yggdrasill, the tree of life. I don't remember if either Thor or Loki mention it by name; I got the impression they couldn't pronounce actual Nordic terms if their paychecks depended on it. Not only this, but Loki keeps talking about Ragnarok, and it is obvious the writers had no idea what the term means. They would probably also call people in a blimp "the Rapture." Anywhoo, the whole plot requires Loki to steal Thor's hammer. Why this is difficult is never made clear, because Thor is a major beefcake meathead. He sounds like a surfer and spends most of the movie looking like he needs a diaper change. Some woman named Jarnsaxa spoon-feeds him every move, which is amazing because she is practically unintelligible--a fact made even more painful when they do vocal effects and her words could not be deciphered even by CIA software.

I won't spoil the ending, because the director and writer already did that. Suffice it to say that it involves a trip to Hell; not HEL, the Nordic afterlife and the goddess thereof, but basically the Christian Hell--fire, lava, the whole ball of melting wax.

Watch this if you need a good laugh; there isn't an ounce of real heroism or grandeur in the whole mess. My biggest disappointment was Richard Grieco, who can be an effective menace but here comes across as a street punk with a wand and a skin condition.

I have read other reviews of this film, and think they are being generous to talk about this film as having five characters, because I saw some people wandering around on the screen, sometimes in slo-mo, other times in no-mo, but there wasn't much character there. Cody Deal, who is he, by the way?, has the body for Thor; too bad they kept it covered up most of the time with a Wal-Mart quality costume. He doesn't have the voice for this kind of hero, however, and I kept waiting for him to just stop talking.

Richard Grieco has acting skills, which unfortunately he left back in the 1980s and neglected to bring along to this film. The rest can go without mention.

As for the plot, well, it is hard to talk about plot here. Thor is supposed to save the world by defeating the evil devil-god Loki in the back alleys of Los Angeles, and every other low-budget location that could be had for a hundred bucks and some coffee-shop coupons. Round this out with computer animations and enhancements straight off of my old Commodore 64 computer, and you get a major horror film, but perhaps not the kind of horror really intended. Someone was channeling Ed Wood here for sure. We just needed burning paper plates doubling as UFOs to complete the effect, and hey, there's an idea for a sequel! Syfy and Asylum were looking to cash in on the bigger Thor picture in theaters now (apparently this Thor auditioned for that role, too; in what universe was that going to happen?) but apparently Brannagh's Thor isn't hammering the crowds, either, in real blockbuster fashion.

Well, I guess this is the season for Worse rather than Norse.

The simple answer is quite possibly yes.

The joke is though that this film is so bad that you can't even laugh at it.

I found myself cringing at the appalling dialogue. The CGI was very poorly done and the camera work in general was very dodgy to say the least with lots of shaking.

The "acting" (if you can call it that) was appalling. Whether or not this is due to the poor directing or that they are actually that bad (which I fail to believe) is unforgivable, and some might even say criminal. As someone who has done some acting, if I was in this steaming heap, I would want my name removed from the credits.

This is defiantly one to avoid if you value your time. It is 1 hour and 30 minutes I will never get back.

Even Alan Smithee wouldn't want to put his name to this.

I'm sorry this movie was horrible. From the beginning with the weird cgi of the huge army in battle, but any scenes with the soldiers only showed one or two fighting... Most of the time swinging their swords up in the air to the off camera demon dogs (or whatever)... To the constant walking of Loki once he got to Earth...what was that a total of 10+ minutes of him just strolling on the sidewalk and attempting to look menacing? The movie was so bad i got distracted by Thor's brother's weird Rocky looking lip... and Thor's bright white two front teeth? Are those bad caps or did he suck his thumb too long... Thor whined more than Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars... I gave up with only 15 minutes left of the movie. Thor even had some "magical" earth jacket that would hide the hammer when he put it in his inside pocket...sometimes it went in handle first some times hammer end first...(Didn't Dungeons and Dragon's have some endless pocket or something like that?) Oh the "magical" jacket even had a place to hold his sword on his back and remained invisible until he pulled it out... :)

Btw, I actually registered on IMDb so i could post this review...That's how bad the movie was...