Poolman

Everything, and I mean everything about this movie is egregiously bad. An offensive waste of time and talent.

What it is a forensic examination of pool maintenance filmed in the style of Chinatown.....I am not kidding.

I dare anyone to not feel bored by this after half an hour and I double dare them to watch to the end.

Yes Chris, of course you can make a movie with Danny DeVito and Annette Benning and a bunch of your other friends. And, of course you can write it and direct it having done neither of those things before.

The writing, direction, plot, cinematography, acting and editing seek only to confuse and annoy in equal measure.

This may be the worst movie ever made. And I'm still not kidding.

By day, Darren Barrenman (Chris Pine) is a pool man. With his circle of friends, he is constantly presenting miniscule issues to the city council and filming his never-finished documentary. He is the thorn in the side of council president Stephen Toronkowski (Stephen Tobolowsky). Out of the blue, the mysterious June (DeWanda Wise) recruits him to take down Toronkowski for unknown corruption. Susan Kerkovich (Jennifer Jason Leigh) is his girlfriend. Jack Denisoff (Danny DeVito) is his documentary director. Diane Esplinade (Annette Bening) is his therapist. Wayne (John Ortiz) is his minion.

The story may be riffing off of Chinatown, but the movie is very much looking to imitate The Big Lebowski. Chris Pine is writing and directing. As the lead actor, he is very much doing the Dude. I like his attempt. He's not holding back. He has surrounded himself with plenty of great actors. The problem boils down to the script and filmmaking. In those respects, Pine is no Coen brothers. It's not there in the details and I want changes to the last act.

Jumped on renting this when it started streaming, and happy I did. I would have paid to see it in a theater. I knew there would be something here, something worth seeing. Maybe I was more open due to all the negative talk or just trusted that Chris Pine set out to create something interesting. It's absurd, silly, confusing and also enjoyable with moments of heartfelt earnestness - and absolutely carried by it's amazing cast of legendary actors! It's camp, parody, weird and wacky, and I enjoyed not knowing where it was going. When I let go and went on the ride it got better. A film that doesn't take itself too seriously is refreshing. I hope Pine and the cast had fun making it. I had fun watching it and the twist ending paid off. It's interesting just by existing.

I think Chris Pine's intention was to create an homage to LA noir movies of yesteryear peppered with a bit of crime, a bit of mystery and a bit of dark comedy. Trouble is I don't think any of it landed.

The movie looks good. It's well shot and has the visual feel I imagine was intended.

The plot, rather than being intriguing and complex is an absolute mess, the comedy doesn't land and Pine's attempts to create a deep and tragic lead just result in an annoying, waffling buffoon.

The cast is pretty underused in my opinion. Annette Benning, Danny DeVito and Jennifer Jason-Leigh should be offering plenty of clout but really are bit parts.

Not for me I'm afraid.

I'm not sure who this movie is for. The premise is kind of Noir film + Big Lebowski, and the main character is surely peculiar, as are his friends, but unlike the cult classic, nothing they say feels funny nor special; it's like being stuck in a room with strangers who are not very bright, who have smoked something, and are trying to make a conversation. It's tiring. It doesn't help that everything feels very slow and sleepy, and the plot is so obvious that even a child would figure it out, while eyes rolling. Maybe that was the point, to play with Noir genre expectations. But every film, regardless of genre, should have some element of surprise, meaning, and depth; otherwise, what's the point of making the film and what's the point of watching? I can't see those here. Maybe it's about boredom.