- Roy 'Chubby' Brown: These are just some of the songs that kept us from getting to number one, in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Here we go: ELO, Status Quo, Tommy Roe, Billy Joel; Pat Boone, Peter Noone, Keith Moon, and the Lovin' Spoon; Sex Pistols, Dolly's bristols - that's Dolly Parton, and Dean Martin; Funboy Three, Kiki Dee, Alicia Keyes, and The Bee Gees; Robert Palmer, Bananarama, Boomtown Rats in their pyjamas; Fleetwood Mac, Shakatak, Cilla Black, and The Applejacks; Right Said Fred, Simply Red, Wet Wet Wet, and The Grateful Dead; James Taylor, Jimmy Naylor, Bob Marley and the Wailers; Stereophonics, Black Onyx; Lil' Kim, Fat Boy; Slim Tom Jones, The Ramones, The Bluetones, and The Rolling Stones; The Pretenders, The Mindbenders, Alvin Stardust, worst offenders; Jimmy Dean, Queen, Cream, and East 17; Duran Duran, Meridian, you'll be showing your age with Kool and the Gang; and Doctor Fox, and Ultravox, Living in a Box, and The Buzzcocks; Sting, Bing, Hawkwind, Elvis was the king; Saxon, Michael Jackson; Madonna, Des O'Connor; Crickets, Flying Pickets, Blue, and Level 42; Electric Light, Barry White, Three Dog Night, Gladys Knight; Mariah Carey, Ding - Berry, Bryan Ferry, Mungo Jerry; Jeff Beck's big sex, Planet X, T-Rex; Sam Cook, Dr Hook, Zoots, and the Duke Elling... Toys, The McCoys, Le Roys, and the Beach Boys; 10CC, Brenda Lee, Run DMC, and fucking hell - me!