If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

Make no mistake, Rose Byrne puts on a show. Other than that, spend 2 hours elsewhere. The themes of motherhood and anxiety on full display, without lacking any substantial plot or moments of comedic relief certainly not a dark comedy by any stretch of the imagination Completely and utterly fell short.

The narrative primarily centers on motherhood or more accurately, on mothers from all walks of life, striving to provide the best for their children, who selflessly sacrifice anything necessary to ensure their children's safety and well-being, all while juggling their professional, personal, and marital responsibilities.

Yet, their efforts are frequently met with harsh judgment from ignorant men and, at times, even from other ignorant women.

As a result, the suffocating guilt and the anxiety of being labeled a "bad mother" invade their consciousness like a relentless plague. Each day becomes a battle, and every attempt to meet their obligations drains their very will to live and breath, yet they persist, dutifully adhering to their responsibilities because they lack the 'privilege' to pause or take a break without the oppressive weight of stress incessantly looming over them.

The film not only presents these struggles with empathy and intricate detail but also critiques a society that often overlooks the turbulent mental states of mothers; a conversation we all need to engage in more actively by the way.

And all this is shown through Linda, a mother struggling to balance different aspects of her life while providing the "special" care and attention her daughter requires. Enacted exceptionally by Rose Byrne, who happens to command every frame she appears in; her vulnerabilities, fears, and the emotional turmoil that gnaws at her precious sanity are powerfully portrayed on screen.

Undoubtedly a class act!

For the love of God, why is this movie categorized as a comedy?! It is a dark psychological drama, period. Not a dark comedy, not a thriller.

Rose Byrne delivers an amazing acting performance, but don't see this movie because you thought she was funny in Bridesmaids. You will be sorely disappointed.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You feels like it could be the breakaway hit of Sundance 2025. As with many of the films at the festival, I sat in on a press screening not knowing much about the movie beyond the brief blurb in the program. I chatted with the person seated next to me about the films we had seen and how we had both heard some good buzz about this film. The lights dimmed, and the first thing that appeared on the screen was the A24 logo. We immediately turned to each other, and expressed a mutual "Ahh!". Sure, they're behind a few clunkers, but in general, when I see that A24 is behind a project, I perk up. Their films are just plain different.

Writer and Director Mary Bronstein has presented a challenging portrayal of motherhood that is uncomfortable to watch. Shot almost entirely in close-ups, the atmosphere is claustrophobic, frenetic, and oppressive, with no lingering establishing shots to allow the viewer to orient themselves. We are forced into Linda's personal space, feeling almost like we're invading her privacy: the camera is focused on Linda in almost every shot. If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is about challenging the audience to confront truths about motherhood, guilt, and the emotional divide between cultural expectations and personal reality. Imagine Nightbitch, but without the quirkiness.

The plot centers around Linda (Rose Byrne), a psychotherapist trying to balance her job with her 10 year old, nameless daughter who suffers from some sort of unnamed illness that demands she receive constant care and attention. The daughter is faceless throughout the film and connected to a feeding tube, the umbilical cord that Linda desperately wants to sever. The focus here isn't on the illness itself, but on Linda's emotional and physical exhaustion, and her growing resentment. Similar to the disturbing We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011), the film explores the taboo subject of a mom who has never bonded with her child. Here, Linda is self-medicating with drugs and alcohol and making other questionable choices, all the while trying to counsel other people.

If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a film of metaphors and layers of emotional nuance. Early in the movie, Linda experiences a flood in her apartment that leaves a huge hole in the ceiling, forcing her to move into a cheap motel nearby. Despite her efforts to coordinate repairs, the hole simply isn't getting fixed. A recurring theme is Linda needing help and not getting any, and this huge hole in her life is just getting bigger. She keeps returning to the apartment, only to discover that no work has been done on the hole.

The movie also explores the theme of being "seen". Linda's interactions with others, including her therapist (a chillingly detached Conan O'Brien), reflect her frustration with being unable to find the support she needs, despite her constant pleas for help. Her husband is a ship's captain, off at sea, and offers no support. He can't understand why Linda isn't getting the ceiling fixed. The most grounded character in the film is her motel neighbor James (A$AP Rocky) who literally calls her out for being a neglectful mom. I guess he's the only person who does actually "see" her in the way we, as an audience do. James's confrontations with Linda are in stark contrast to the others who largely ignore or misunderstand her struggles.

It's difficult to convey the chaotic energy in this movie and the sense of being out of control. What if you don't feel the love towards your own offspring the way you are expected to? If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a film that tackles motherhood head on and offers no easy conclusions. It's an exhausting experience and I loved it. It's only January, but I'm sure this will be in my top ten list in December.

As a woman in my mid twenties recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, this film was deeply uncomfortable it irritated me, pulled me in, and wouldn't let go until the end.

It captures emptiness and distorted perception with unsettling precision. I saw myself in it and that recognition brought a mix of satisfaction, fear, disgust, and acceptance.

It's a complex, haunting portrayal of despair and chaos within a wounded or unstable mind.

A brilliant work. I'll never watch it again.