- Sally: [to Santa while being held upside down by the guard] Come on, do something.
- Guard: Oh I'll do something alright. I'll stick you in solitary, you wretch.
- Sally: What's wrong with you, don't you want to save Christmas?
- Guard: Christmas? Is that what all this is all about? I hate Christmas. If I had my way, I'd cancel the lot of it.
- [Santa punches the guard in the face]
- Steve: [to Santa, who claims to be the Real Santa Claus] Are you on medication? Or worse: are you NOT on medication?