- Nostalgia Critic: Heston is obsessed with capturing a cute, cuddly little polar bear. And his character is so deep and so complex that I can talk for hours about why he obsesses over his capture, because... he can say the word "bear" really cool!
- Nostalgia Critic: OH, COME ON! Are you seriously telling me they can't see that? You're honestly saying that the rescue crew, the people who specialize in doing this, can't see a banana-colored plane on the edge of a mountain ON THEIR THIRD TIME AROUND? Look at this, they're practically in the same frame. THE SAME FRAME! Just turn your head to the fucking right, AND YOU'LL SEE THE GODDAMN THING! Well, hell, the guy has flares. That should be able to get their attention, right?
- [Jake fires his flare into the air, yet the helicopter doesn't see it and flies away]
- Nostalgia Critic: Oh, fuck you, movie! Fuck you! I've seen better eyesight on Mr. Magoo's vision test! What the hell's wrong with these people? This is the worst rescue ever! Imagine if these idiots actually went on foot! Can you see how well THAT would go?
- Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Sarah Palin is stupid. There, I got the Sarah Palin joke out of the way, let's talk about "Alaska".