Rows

I couldn't comprehend how someone could give this movie a great or even good rating as it is beyond bland. I wouldn't say its terrible, I would say it is salt ad pepper seasoned chicken BLAND. The actors are robotic, the story is meh and the production is whatever. There are people that could make a better movie with a cell phone. I wasn't at all invested in any manner but not terrible enough to just turn off, I was curious about the ending so I rode it out. The ending like the rest of the entire project was "meh".

Where did they find these robots? How much did they spend on Ativan? Did I miss something? Did they miss something? What is everyone staring at? Why can't they blink, these robots? Why can't they breathe through their noses? Is that why they can't close their mouths? Why did no one remember to charge their batteries? Did they leave the charger at home? Weren't we just here? Didn't I just see this part? Where is my mind? Why is that girl vacuuming in her underwear? Where did the rest of the script go? Is it with the charger? Wait, where is the charger? Do you have the charger? Is that Lauren Lakis? Wait, she was in 'Lovely Molly'? Wasn't 'Lovely Molly' good? What was that thing at the end of 'Lovely Molly'? What time is it? Where did that guy come from? Where did he find that tie? Why is that other guy so mad at the corn? The pesticides don't kill ants? Who makes this pesticide? Why can't I snort it? Where did you find it? Whose pesticide is this anyway? Did David Lynch lose his pet monkey? Why didn't they wait for the monkey to finish the script? When did the monkey learn to edit? Is that stock footage? Did I fall asleep? Did I forget to ask for no MSG? Was I dreaming? Is that my drool on the pillow? Was I snoring? Have I ever seen a film this strange before? Where can I buy the soundtrack? Why didn't the director's parents ever tell him no? Is there an Oscar for most peas smuggled?

Rows is a most imaginative Indie film inspired by Grimm's Tales and the disappearance of two sets of girls years apart. The second set of girls apparently returned but remembered nothing of who they were or where they'd been, according to the makers of the film.

A dark, modern fairy tale of an enchantress casting a spell upon protagonist Rose and her friend, thereby leaving them lost seemingly forever in a cornfield, doomed to repeat horrific events until they can figure a way to escape by finding answers to these strange happenings and breaking the spell.

The cinematography is excellent and there are some unusual shots that add to the surreal atmosphere of the film. The music is outstanding and the sound effects create tension and a creepy, unsettling feeling. This film definitely succeeds in what it sets out to do as a fantasy thriller.

Title of this review is an apt summary. The cornfield is lovely and intriguing in ts vastness any mystery, but beyond the occasional look at its vast landscape, there is NOTHING here if interest. The "plot" is a mishmash of undeveloped ideas with no character development. Fake reviewers giving it pumped-up rating should be ashamed of themselves...bu they obviously have no shame.

Ok, this might be totally my fault. I like to knit and stuff whilst watching anything so its entirely possible i just didnt pay enough attention. But, a cornfield is really a difficult thing to make interesting. I mean, its definitely been done before, but this time... This would be immensely improved with tighter editing and maybe more as a 45 minute episode of a tales from the crypt type deal. Its interesting enough that i stuck to the end waiting for answers, but the journey was pretty boring and the end still befuddled my stupid cracker mind. It was really difficult to have any sympathy for the 2 female leads as there was no development and no insight into anything they were doing. It did have a dream like kind of quality to me, like when you're dreaming and weird stuff is happening and you just roll with it, but other than that its pretty non memorable.

I tried, dang it!!!!