V/H/S/99

Let me start by saying I wasn't overly optimistic when I saw who the writers were. That, coupled with this year being such a huge letdown horror wise rang all kinds of alarm bells. Nonetheless, I still went with some expectations because it's VHS movie, so it has to be at least decent, right? Dead wrong.

I'm going to break it down by segments:

The only segment that was somewhat interesting (and I'm being very generous here), was The Gawkers. And by interesting I mean the ending of it. There's so much they could've done with it, won't spoil but you know which mythical creature I'm talking about here. We Summon The Darkness and Tragedy Girls were good so I'm not surprised this was the only segment that was decent. 5/10

Moving on, To Hell and Back was the second one in this movie. Subpar and below standards (4/10) but it wasn't outright catastrophic. Acting was good and it comes from same people who wrote Deadstream so it was watchable.

Shredding. I knew movie was going to suck when the first segment didn't deliver. I have no ide who Maggie Levin is except that she's known for The Black Phone (which was awful) and this didn't deliver either. There was no scare factor and it was extremely straightforward. Not overly bad, just kinda pointless. 3/10

Suicide Bid. I honestly have no clue why would anyone make this? It wasn't scary, wasn't interesting, there was no investment in character(s), just why? It was so blank and empty. 2.5/10 if I'm being generous

And finally - Ozzy's Dungeon. The worst segment I've ever seen in any VHS film. Absolutely horrendous and catastrophic in every single aspect. Have no idea who "Flying Lotus" is but this was so, so bad. Amateur level. 1/10

Overall, I have to give it a 3/10 because of two stories being watchable but that's as much as I can give. Such a shame another franchise is ruined by this. Horrible. I'm so disappointed.

I have been a VHS loyalist since the beginning and even liked 1984. Has every segment ever been a homer in? No. But there's always a diamond or two in the rough. This time around there was quite literally nothing redeeming. Even gawker which should have been the best was wasted with filler and a boring climax. It was like a "Lily" rip-off with none of the tension. Man I can't believe every segment was a dud but here we are. Give some new writers a chance or at least be honest with yourselves when reading the scripts and weed out the garbage. Otherwise this franchises will suffer even further..

VHS 1 & 2 are still easily the best. Then I'd say '94, then this or 'Viral' for last place. I haven't seen 'Viral' since it released because I remember it being just too terrible, but this one was pretty awful too. There was no suspense in any of the segments in this one, except for when the girl is buried in the cemetary, but that segment is ruined when the monster shows up and looks cheaper than if I made a monster mask out of paper and mud.

'94' at least had Raatma, which I hoped would return in '99' since Raatma was the standout segment, but no. The connecting story of this movie makes no sense, not that any of the 'VHS' connecting storylines made much sense, but this one is complete nonsensical trash.

As for the segments themselves, they were all bad. Almost all the segments were just lame campfire stories/urban legends that were lamely executed. This movie also lacked the gritty, gross and snuff-like feel that the best 'VHS' movies offered. Also, none of the kids in this acted or spoke like they were from the '90s, they sounded like your typical annoying Fortniters or Minecrafters.

The first 2 'VHS' movies (and even some bits of '94') had a vibe to them where you felt like you were going to end up as a segment for just watching such a nasty-looking cursed film. But for '99', I felt like sitting through it was worse than ending up as a segment. A step down from '94', and a giant leap down from 'VHS' 1 & 2.

Hands down the best part of this movie was a hilarious performance from Steven Ogg.

3/10.

1. Suicide Bid 2. Shredding 3. The Gawkers 4. Ozzy's Dungeon 5. To Hell And Back

V/H/S/99 is the latest in the mixed bag that makes up the V/H/S franchise. Of the five stories, none are particularly awful yet none hit some of the heights previous V/H/S' have managed.

An 1hr 50m for this kind of anthology is rather long and the running time begins to tell the longer it goes on. Ozzy's Dungeon has lots of potential but begins to bore. Same goes for To Hell And Back. The most accomplished piece is Suicide Bid which contains the better scares with a neat ending.

V/H/S/99 is a shudder exclusive and is the perfect platform for a series of it's kind. There is a sequel already announced called V/H/S/85 coming to shudder as well and so far V/H/S still has legs.

The first 3 movies are absolute treasures, but these new cash-ins lack all the underground gritty realism and engrossing segments.

The first 3 movies felt like you were watching some cursed or random snuff VHS that had been unearthed. These 90's installments feel like some kids decided to create their own little creepypasta style shots and it just falls flat and feels empty, the bad CGI doesn't help either. Some segments have decent story ideas but either bad acting, CGI, or dialogue ruin it.

Like '94 there's only one good segment, and the overarching shots between segments is bland. Still waiting for the series to get back to its original brilliance.