- Clive: Stuart! Out. You're not allowed in here anymore.
- Stuart: I corrected the aspect on your screen 3.
- Clive: I told you not to touch anything! You... You need to start fucking listening to me!
- Stuart: And you to me! I spent longer in projection than you've had hot meals, and I'm not about to take some course attended by spotty teenagers in, in how to fix the aspect ratio.
- Clive: Nobody gives a shit how the film is shown. Everything's digital these days. Kids want realism.
- Stuart: And that's just what they're going to get.
- Stuart: So, we are making a film. Do you enjoy the movies, Mr. Russell?
- Clive: I'm sorry I fired you. Please...
- Stuart: You didn't fire me. I quit. You must be confused.
- Clive: What are you doing?
- Stuart: You see, every horror film needs a victim.
- Clive: Please!
- Stuart: In my days, horror was about what you didn't see. Now that was scary. These days, the young, they feel compelled to see everything. Every movie seems to be about one-upmanship. That means it's go to be gory, or it's got to be more violent, more shocking. More inventive than previous. Torture porn, I believe they call it. I don't much care for that. It's not scary. It's rather sick. But, I digress. So, Mr. Russell, this is what I came to see. You must give the audience what they want.
- Stuart: Could you just do that last bit again?
- Martin: What? You need help! You killed someone!
- Stuart: You *killed* someone. I just captured it.
- Martin: It was your fault!
- Stuart: Oh, now, now, grow up. All good villains take responsibility for their actions.
- Martin: Look, I'm not the villain here.
- Stuart: Ah, lovely. More great dialogue! Oh, I'm so please I cast you.
- Martin: Why me?
- Stuart: Why not? I watch people. I've spent years looking down on them. observing what makes them laugh and cry, be shocked or scared. And I realized, I required a couple. Well, you look like perfect leading man material, and her? Well, she's the girl next door. Got something to fight for, right? Presto! We've got a film!
- Martin: Look, this isn't some game. This my life you're fucking with!
- Stuart: I know. That's why I want to give the people the film they crave.
- Martin: You're just a sad old man with a shitty little camera.
- Stuart: I'm not some amateur, Martin. I've projected films for over 25 years, and if I can no longer show them, then I might as well learn how to make them! And what I learned, I learned that these days, you've got an angle, hm? I decided I was going to make a horror film using real people. No one's done that before! You're going to be famous. We all are!
- Martin: Who's going to watch a film that someone died making?
- Stuart: Bruce Lee, "Enter The Dragon." Brandon Lee, "The Crow." And what about those children that were decapitated by the helicopter in that Twilight Zone movie? What about that then?
- Martin: Guess what? They were accidents!
- Stuart: And so could this be, if, if, if I edit it differently.
- Stuart: So come on then. How does this end?
- Martin: What do you mean?
- Stuart: Well, you're the filmmaker. You must know how it ends.
- Martin: Of course I do. And why would I tell you? You should never spoil the ending. Never. Now, Martin, isn't it? Martin, we're between takes here. Tell us, how's it going?
- Stuart: What the fuck is this?
- Martin: How's it going? This is, for, for, for the special features. DVD extras and such. It's an interview.
- Stuart: Just the two of us, eh, Martin? Good versus evil, right versus wrong. Oh, I do love this part of the movie.
- Martin: The police will be here any second.
- Stuart: Who do you think cued then, hmm? I'm getting the impression that somehow you don't know this is all part of the plot, Martin. We called the SWAT team 13 minutes ago. Pretty standard response time when you select a few key phrases. And now, poor little Allie, all alone on the roof. She's got no idea, in approximately three minutes, someone else will be killed!
- Martin: Where your cameras now, eh? The power's out! Guess you won't finish your film after all.
- Stuart: I'm not stupid, Martin. Of course the cameras are recording. We couldn't let all this drama not be captured now, could we? Not when I'm about to win!
- Martin: You'll never win.
- Stuart: Have you not figured it out yet? I'm the hero, Martin. You're the villain. Hero always get the girl. He always wins. That's classic storytelling. It's a fact.