The Coffee Table

I thought I was going to be watching a horror movie. It was, in a way; it was real life, natural horror. Not the stuff of monsters and the supernatural and nightmares, or things that go bump in the night. I gave it a 6 because I think it deserves a smidge better than a middle of the road rating. Not a lot of character development, but we do get a very tiny bit on 3 of the characters - Jesús, María, and Jesús's brother, Carlos. Maria, at times, could be super annoying; there is really nothing at all likable about her. I did really like her husband, Jesús. The contrast between them is so profound, I don't see how they could be together. I've known couples who are opposites, but this couple wasn't believable for me. And Ruth, the 13 year old neighbor, ugh. She's a character on the periphery and at the end of the movie, I understood why she exists in this film at all. The actress did a good job with her performance, because, like Maria, I pretty much just wanted to reach into the movie and smack her a few times.

This is an emotionally dark, dark film. It was filmed in a dark light as well with very little color, except in one scene where there is a lot of bright color, which was done deliberately, I'm sure. It was all about the characters' emotions for me. It was really hard to watch sometimes. There is some dark comedy in the first Act, but it doesn't last long. I can't say if I'd recommend this film, I'm torn. I don't think it's a waste of an hour and a half, but I do think one has to be prepared going in, knowing this is dark, and emotionally raw, and NOT a Horror film. I don't know how IMDB comes up with in what genre they list films, but The Coffee Table is not a Horror film, or least not what I think the average Horror fan wants when he/she/they go looking for one. It is also listed as Dark Comedy, but there is so little of that, that I don't think it belongs there either. Drama is the only genre that makes sense - Tragedy would work too, if that was a category. Now I'm off to find a real horror flick that I haven't seen.

Not at all what I was expecting. I got the impression from people's remarks when this first hit streaming services that this would be some new trash shocker in a category with films like The Human Centipede and/or A Siberian Film, however it is nothing like that. While both of those films have their share of underlying humor, The Coffee Table is almost entirely almost humorless, and attempts to take one idea and stretch it out into a feature length film.

Unfortunately, a rather creative concept and some admirable acting performances are tainted by a film that's entire second half has virtually no worthwhile elements, and seems to simply draw itself out until it's long enough to be a feature length. The entire second half of the film is nothing but meaningless dialogue between 4 characters that in no way furthers the story, or ups any tension or intrigue - instead it actually slowly diminishes the tension as the runtime progresses, and by the time the finale hits, it is very difficult to actually feel anything for any of the characters. While the characters are relatively realistic archetypes, none of them are especially likable - so there aren't a lot of emotive stakes when the film's chaos ensues.

But, massive flaws aside, I have a bit of respect for The Coffee Table, for its ambition, creativity, and commitment, however it is not a very good movie, and I think it might take it self a bit too seriously. But, who knows, maybe it's someone's true story?

Short review: I've always loved the concept of one small decision changing everything in a massive way. We were actually warned by the director before watching this film not to watch it. I thought to myself, I've seen the worst of the worst, how bad could it be? This isn't a film like 'A Serbian Film' or 'Hostel' that sets out with no purpose other than to shock you as much as possible. But this film will drain you and have you thinking long after the credits roll.

There are a couple of moments of humour in the film, and they are genuinely funny moments, but because of the subject and tone of the film you feel like a monster if you laugh. I can't remember experiencing that before.

This is an emotionally draining film and not one that is designed for everyone to watch. However if you are game I think you will find it both rewarding and memorable. 8/10.

An older couple who recently had their first child buys a coffee table but not without much argument. The husband pushes through with buying the table he likes, a decision which will change their lives in ways they couldn't have imagined. This film had its moments, disturbing in fact, but the film didn't come through as being well-thought-of. Another big issue was the story being dragged to reach 1 hour and 31 minutes of runtime. It would have been effective as a short.

The positives. The acting was, overall, good. The plot was easy to follow. The filmmakers clearly wanted the viewers to feel uneasy and they were successful in that.

The negatives. Aside from the plot being dragged to a full-length film, there were some questionable behavior here. A character had so much patience in spite of something happening. Another character was unbelievable to be that way and I don't see an objective reason story-wise to have a character like that. I felt like the filmmakers just had a brainstorming session about all the things they find to be disturbing and put it all in a single movie, and I don't think that's the right way to go.

Also, the characters are not likable. The wife, though she makes more sense, wants to have her way all the time. The husband, I'm sorry, was stupid in a lot of things. Another character, I felt was made just for shock value. There's another two characters who were more likable than the leads in my opinion.

Another thing is the genre. Why does it have comedy as one? There's nothing funny in this film. It's not a black comedy either. That's perplexing.

This film could have been a punch if it was a short movie instead and if there were no subplots that didn't add value to the main story. This is not the first film that has "to disturb" as it's first priority, but this one felt like it was made just for that. It was also draggy and I wanted to fast forward to the end. Watch if you want but there are better, more thought-out, disturbing movies than this one.

When I saw michael Hanneke's funny games i thought that was the movie i would never wanted to see again, but this picture came and... It's not bad, I hated the movie I really did but the picture itself wants you to hate it, so I guess it made it. Everything is a roller coaster, but theres no ups, just rolling down from the top and you don't see where the end is near. I wanted so desesperately to this movie to end, every five minutes is just me checking how much time is left. THE scene, is so unoredictiable and that was when this movie hit me and dragged me. So ig you're sicko and you love you to see when a baby is crying, when somebody falls from a chair, when someone forgets a speech, You'd like this movie. I hated it and I loved it.