The Four

Based loosely on the Chinese X-men-meets-wuxia comic, Four Constables, upon being impressed by their Capcom-style bar fight, the benevolent Professor X-type character recruits two CGI-enhanced fighters to join his team of ultra-top secret police as they hunt for the criminal mastermind behind a money-counterfeiting ring.

Maybe some of you had to read the above sentence twice. Unfortunately, the film isn't in any way as clear, as the jumbled mess of a plot isn't something that requires attention to comprehend, rather, it just skips along from part A to C and hopes that no-one will mind.

But that's not The Four's biggest problem.

Seemingly convinced that if Hollywood can get away with shallow, green-screened action turds, they can too, the producers blatantly insult viewers by compiling a film they obviously thought nobody would have anything to moan about as long as it looked good. And, to their credit, it did look good.

So, if you like soulless entertainment thinly veiled as a film (something which requires plot and character development components to really work), then you may just find this worthy of your time; if, however, you're looking for something that won't leave you scratching your head or wondering why there are a million characters when none of them have anything remotely interesting going on, you've been warned.