Satanic Hispanics

A police SWAT team finds a sole survivor (Efren Ramirez) after a mass murder of Latino victims. Police detectives Arden (Greg Grunberg) and Gibbons (Sonya Eddy) are interrogating him. He claims that he needs to leave in 90 minutes or else. He starts telling them ghost stories.

The wrap around story is "The Traveler". I like it and it puts in a ticking time clock right away. The first ghost story is "Tambien Lo Vi" and I like it. I like the whole concept of the light. Quite frankly, that could be a whole horror film on its own. That's coming next from Blumhouse. The second ghost story is "El Vampiro" and it reminds me so much of "What We Do in the Shadows". Again it would work great as one of its episodes. The third ghost story is "Nahaules" and it's fine. It's a lot blood and gore and horror makeup. It's above average work, but the story isn't much. The fourth ghost story is "The Hammer of Zanzibar" and it's not my first dildo fight. It's not even the second one and that concept is getting a little derivative. It would have work so much better if this came out a few years earlier. I would have laughed out loud at the sight of it, but as it stands, I said, "Oh! They're doing that thing."

This is as good or better than most B-horrors like Creepshow and such. Being a little late to the dildo fight party cannot be blamed on them. They probably created the idea well before those others came out. As for the rest, they range from very good to good enough. That's a very good batting average.

Satanic Hispanics is an anthology-horror movie directed by multiple well-known Hispanic directors. The name sounded intriguing and I definitely like the cover and therefore I was pretty excited to see how this would turn out. The almost two hour runtime seemed intimidating at first, but the original V/H/S movie (2012) was also almost two hours long and I absolutely love that. In general I am a huge fan of anthology-horror and after the entertaining opening scene I was immediately hooked. The humor is great and even though this movie is not labeled as a comedy, I think that the comedic aspects worked really well most of the time. Especially in the scenes that take place in the interrogation room. The effects are also pretty good and you can tell that the production value was solid. But somehow the movie didn't quite stick the landing in the end even though it had all the ingredients to be a very memorable anthology-horror movie. There are pacing issues at times and the segments are not consistent enough to entertain for almost two hours, which in my opinion is still too long for most movies. Overall I still definitely enjoyed the watch but the movie was not able to reach my expectations, but if you like anthology-horror movies, this is definitely worth a try. [5,7/10]

What is the problem with distributors? It's now 2025 and this film was released in 2022 yet it's still not available to watch in the UK on any streaming platform. You can't even buy it on dvd. I'm a great fan of Latino horror and especially Demian Rugna. Terrified was original and terrific. When Evil Lurks is probably one of the greatest unsung horror movies of the last 20 years. I'm sorry that I can't give a review but I wanted to highlight the ridiculous situation with the limited availability of some films. Some idiot needs to pull their finger out. I've even posted on the faq's here asking if anyone knows when it might be available in the UK. No response!

Right, well of course I had not heard about this 2023 horror movie titled "Satanic Hispanics", prior to sitting down in 2024 to watch it. I had the opportunity to do so, and with it being a horror movie that I hadn't already seen, of course I opted to give the movie a chance.

I was intrigued by the movie's cover, as it does look interesting, but I have to admit that the movie's title is just abysmal.

But had I known it was a horror anthology, I do believe I would have skipped it, as horror anthologies tend to be dubious and questionable affairs. However, with having just sat through the entire 112 minutes of it, I will say that "Satanic Hispanics" proved to be somewhat better than your average horror anthology, not great though, but adequate for what it was.

I was for the most parts unfamiliar with the cast ensemble, aside from Efren Ramirez and Greg Grunberg. And I must say that Efren Ramirez was so well-cast for the role of The Traveler in the narrative that ties the segments together, and he definitely made it well-worth sitting through this anthology. The acting performances in the various segments were good, and that certainly counted for something and made it all the more enjoyable to sit through the anthology.

"Satanic Hispanics" has some good and less good segments, as it usually goes with horror anthologies. But I guess that means there is a chance that it hits a wider audience and there might just be something for everyone to enjoy here. And while I did manage to sit through the 112 minutes that it ran for, this is hardly something that I will ever return to watch a second time.

It should be noted that the special effects in the anthology are good, and they definitely add something good to the overall impression of the segments.

My rating of "Satanic Hispanics" lands on a six out of ten stars.

The best way to describe this one is a Latino Creepshow with one of the original directors of 1999's Blair Witch Project. Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite is narrating horror stories as a wrap around character and each features a mostly Latino cast. While it's bad, it's also not very good or scary but more of wannabe Creepshow or even Trick of Treat 2006. There's a guy who can see some weird stuff with some kind of spell, a middle aged vampire married couple, a sucubus demon lady, and Pedro from napoleon dynamite.

This is something that you can wait for streaming or cable. The horror movie season is upon us and there hopefully will be better films coming soon.