Eli Roth Presents: My Possessed Pet

It's going to be made up, exaggerated, and absolutely ridiculous. I just watched them perform an exorcism on a pet spider. It's hilarious. The narrators are people who call a psychic, but not a vet, you know?

Watch it purely for the snark.

The reenactments and dramatizations are akin to what you'd see in a run of the mill true crime series, there are no animal experts interviewed, and often only one perspective given (from "the victim"). Some scenes seem to exist purely to give it a horror movie feel, but then it switches to absolute reality-tv camp (in the worst, unintentional way) within the same episode.

I only watched the first episode, but one was enough...

I was rolling my eyes hard enough already when the horse girl said "witches in Salem were like, burned at the stake" ... ! Could she not have googled that before going on TV ?

Women & men falsely accused of witchcraft being hanged (one pressed to death) have no connection to this ridiculously drawn out & ultimately uneventful story of a horse spooked by a thunderstorm. I would've let that go, chocking it up to that girl maybe needing to read some history- or maybe, watch anything on the Salem Witch Trials- but then for the show to have a clip of a witch burning at the stake as if to validate that statement?

That was the only scare for me.

Imagine keeping a BIG horse of that caliber (appears to be Friesian) in a cramped maybe 8x8 stall where the glass bulb stall light (another no-no) is at eartip level. Imagine such poor camera work showing one white hind sock in one shot (and minimal leg feather all around) and no white sox and full leg feather right after that. Imagine mindless teen girl with gratingly embarrassing "acting" skills crouched at her horse's feet examining something in the dirt (and why doesn't that stall have actual straw or wood shavings or peat bedding instead of dirt?). Did central casting pull this girl actor out of Rodeo 100 Beginners for her (non-existent) riding "skills"? Did anyone bother to ask an actual equine expert if horses sometimes freak out at trees waving in the breeze? (Yes they do and it's not because there's a real demon spirit and btw trees aren't demonic even in the overly fevered imagination of Eli Roth.) For heaven's sake if you want to make a movie featuring a horse - and, Eli, perhaps consider a career change - at least consult someone who knows SOMETHING about horses!

A dingy teen girl and her horse. Vapid attention seeker makes up story. Probably wants to be an "influencer". Why did I even watch this to the end? Who is this Eli Roth? This is complete fiction. At one point, vapid girl claims that during the Salem witch trials, witches were "burned at the stake" near her property in upstate New York! Hahahahahaha! What has happened to our education system? No witches were burned in Salem, and Salem is not in upstate New York the last I checked! If I watch another episode of this, it will be entirely to mock this show. Perhaps we can make a drinking game out of it somehow? That is it's entire worth. Disclaimers please. When you make crap up, you should be required to state that you are making crap up. Dud.

Two episodes in and...

The "acting" in the re-enactment portions is incredibly terrible. Ninety percent of the dialogue is people repetitively calling/yelling the names of their pets.

The stories do little to capture the attention and certainly do nothing to keep the viewer invested or wanting more. This show never needed to be created and I would be astonished if it gets a season two.

Eli Roth must be cash-strapped to put his name on this dumpster fire.

Consider the bottom of the barrel scraped.

Just avoid this show like a puddle of piss in front of the urinal. Remember you will never get back the minutes of your life wasted.