Asylum

I've used IMDb for years now, and have suffered through many a terrible movie during those years. This is the first comment I've made. This is certainly one of the top three worst movies I have ever seen in my life--probably number one.

Have you ever watched a flick with one of those friends that talks and makes stupid jokes throughout the whole thing? Did you enjoy that? No? Then you won't enjoy this movie. Imagine that friend, only a million times worse. It is... I can't even think of a word. I'm inclined to create a new word to describe just how terrible this flick is. My head hurt after watching it from all the brain cells that committed suicide.

Do not watch this. Don't even read any more reviews on it. If you took the time to read this one, you have already wasted too much time on Asylum. It's not even ironically bad. There is nothing that redeems this flick. The director should be exiled and barred from even thinking of producing something that a human being might see.

Sweet Jesus !! This is the worst movie I have ever watched !! .. I would rather nail my hand to a table and set fire to it .. Watched this on virgin " front row " it would appear that these films aren't vetted before scheduling .. If your considering watching this movie then I suggest buying a bag of glue 3.99 ( same as it cost to rent this movie on virgin ) as this would then numb the brain sufficiently so , as to make listening to those 2 clowns talking over the whole movie bearable..

That's two films in the last two weeks I've bought that have these unbearable very poor Z list American actors who have children that will in turn be at school getting bullied for ever more because their parents feel the need to appear in this tosh !! ....

Whoever thought that turning bad movie into a good one by having two idiots talk continuously over what is happening on screen needs their head examined.

It's not funny, it's not horror, it's simply annoying.

Who else would make a film and then add on a couple of idiots talking about how bad it is? What is the point of that?

The original film was probably better than this version with a couple of idiots constantly criticising it .

This is one of the reasons I don't go to cinemas - to listen to other people talking while I'm trying to watch the film, no matter how bad it is.

I hope they made a huge financial loss on this garbage. And I hope the person who decided to add the two voices on top of the original film never works again.

Asylum, there have to be a dozen films by that name. It kind of makes you wonder why they bother, is it so hard to come up with something original?

This one however is very memorable, though I'm not entirely sure for the best reasons.

Imagine a really quite dire horror movie starring Bruce Payne and Stephen Rea with a side story about the movies creation and comedy narration over it similiar to Mystery Science Theatre 3000. That's what this movie is, and it's totally bizzare.

So it tells the story of a swat team who are tasked with going into an Asylum and the whole thing is dreadful from plot to the actors who range from bad to bored. The saving grace is the narration and truth be told some of it is genuinely hilarious.

But it's not so good to make this a watchable 90 minutes, the movie itself is really damn bad but the narration mocks it every step of the way and often speaks exactly what you're thinking.

It's hard to identify who this is aimed at, all I can say is that it isn't a horror and does have enough comedy to make it watchable.........barely.

The Good:

Some genuine laughs

Caroline Ford

The Bad:

Bruce Payne

SO many films called Asylum

Plot is a mess

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Chris Brown jokes, still funny

I will not be able to look at Stephen Rea again without thinking lesbian Bob Dylan

If an ally gets pulled into a fridge by unknown forces.........shoot the fridge

Strange film this.It starts with 2 editors trying to cut a horror movie from footage from a shoot in some fictional foreign country. What follows is that you see the entire horror movie with a Mystery Science Theater 3000 type comical voice over by the two editors. The film itself looks like a work-print with captions for missing effects etc. There's a couple of cuts to a side story with the editors but this probably only accounts for about 5 minutes of screen time. What ruins this film is the actual horror movie looks watchable whilst the editors are irritatingly unfunny. The production values in the horror movie seem quite decent whilst the editor sections are amateur hour. Its just a pity we couldn't see the horror movie and lose the editors voice over.