Marry F*** Kill

Let us start with the bad and then move on to the good! This offering brings the usual need for suspension of disbelief; due more to stupid decisions being made by the characters rather than anything having to do with the subject matter.

Did it bring anything new to the screen? NO. Was the storyline anything amazing or even interesting? NO. It was definitely a small screen offering; lower budget, lower expectations. Absolutely nothing that would be greenlit for an actual theatrical run.

There really was no cool backstory to lead us into what was going on. It unfolds in a fairly chronological order, letting us in on what exactly is going on by the end.

Now for the good! After all that was stated above, I have to say, it was surprising well acted! Some were better than others, but all did a solid job with the material thay were given. Make of that what you will. Also, I found the directing, editing (for the most part), cinematography, and pace, to be fairly well done.

In short, it was a solid effort even if nothing new or noteworthy came out. I really expected to give up or start hitting fast forward within the first twenty minutes. I was surprised that It kept me interested enough to watch from start to finish.

That's 1 hour and 30 minutes I'll never get back.

I can only pity the director, who did her best with what she had to build on - that being a poorly written (and unfinished) synopsis. However, we've seen this genre of camp 'horror' SO many times that the ending could be turned into a game in itself: 'Which of 100 monkeys on typewriters can come up with ANYTHING to add an actual conclusion to this dire excuse for a movie?' Sorry, but no self-respecting B-movie fan would get a kick out of this. It's not even worth a spoiler ... They haven't put anything IN this to spoil.

Acting ... Great (except the stereotype-aunt).

Directing ... She did her best with what she had.

Effects ... (available from any joke shop).

To paraphrase the title ... ' Avoid, avoid, AVOID!

The lighting isn't bad, which is normally why I give such low ratings. In this case it's more like they had a bucket filled with penny actors that they grabbed a few out of, a hat full of tropes that they grabbed out a handfull from, a direct out of college director, and a dash of taking themselves too seriously. It's quality is on par with the fifth 'direct to VHS' in a franchise.

But, at the end of the day I wanted to watch a horror movie named * Marry Kill, and this was pretty close. Plus it got my wife to keep saying a name from Supernatural in a southern accent, so that was entertaining.

Seriously. Tubi, we need to talk. You need to stop with the whole "Tubi originals" thing. They're bad. Really bad. Laughably bad. Terror Train was an insult to the original, but it was better than this. This is what happens when a cheap as it gets production company makes a movie so bad Lifetime Movie Network doesn't want it. Noy one thing about this is adequate: the script is eyeroll inducingly poor, the acting is as wooden as the lumber section at Lowe's, and the director mails it in. Who could blame her, really? The first two acts are quite poor but the real craptactular is saved for act three, which features some of the mist hilariously inept makeup effects of all time. Avoid.

When a film is described as a TubiTV original...you know it's probably going to be bad.

So I fully expected this was going to be much worse than it actually was.

Especially considering the title, and introduction of the film.

Plotwise, we have a group of friends returning to a house, where their friend killed herself in a demonic ritual, after having a mental breakdown, when her boyfriend convinces her to participate in an orgy (when she wanted to wait to have sex when they were married).

With, whatever dark force she unleashed, on the prowl, to reap vengeance, in her name.

This demon proceeds to possess his female friends, bang him, and then kill them...as sacrifices meant to bring back his once beloved deceased lover.

It turns out, both individuals came from a family of witches...whom shared a connection as partners in a past life.

Whose union has been foretold to bring forth the antichrist.

The whole thing is rather simply shot.

Which, for a TubiTV original, works in it's favour, as opposed to detriment.

No doubt, it's still a pretty lame film.

But I, personally, expected it to be way worse.

So colour me pleasantly surprised.

Because, while the acting is rather mediocre.

The storyline is actually not too bad.

With a couple twists that actually work in the end.

Thus, as far as films that end up going straight to TubiTV...this is among one of the better films of the class.

3.5 out of 10.