My Massive Cock

Freak show?...no, it's not. In a freak show the appeal is the morbid fascination for the unusual. Leading to feelings of empathy, pity or even guilt.

Maybe it's the way that this documentary exploited this theme. But it didn't do anything for me.

It treats the fact that some men are bigger than others and that some people prefer that as something dramatic, but it forces the shame so bluntly that falls into the ridiculous.

Why not make a documentary about nipples?.

My point is that the documentary tries to push you to intellectualize something not out of the ordinary.

Who hasn't met someone with a big penis, or someone who likes them, or not?. It's not a shame being above the average, that in every field of life. Actually everyone is supposed to strive for it.

Are we supposed to feel sorry for the gifted?.

This documentary can't sucks more!. Pun intended.

Shakespeare did not actually "make" the word "taper," but he did contribute to its literary usage, helping to solidify its meaning in the English language. The word "taper" originated from the Old French word taper, meaning "to burn," and was initially used in English to describe a slender candle, or any object that gradually narrows to a point. Shakespeare, ever the master of language, used "taper" in several of his plays, notably in A Midsummer Night's Dream and Twelfth Night. In these works, he used "taper" to evoke the image of something that gradually diminishes in size, creating metaphors that conveyed subtlety, fragility, or a slow transformation. For instance, in A Midsummer Night's Dream, the word appears in a line describing the "tapers" of fairy lights, suggesting a gentle, diminishing glow. Shakespeare's poetic use of "taper" helped reinforce the word's association with gradual reduction or slimming, a concept that later found its way into various fields, including fashion and grooming. While Shakespeare didn't invent the word, his clever incorporation of it into his plays helped to popularize and solidify its place in the English lexicon, contributing to the rich, figurative language that remains a hallmark of his works. However, do you know what else is massive...LOOOOOOOOOW TAPER FAAAAADE.

British lads with large members air their grievances in being exploited/disrespected/fetishized for their endowments. With the average size of a man's penis being around 5", the group of mostly heterosexual men gathered here seem to have a communal chip on their shoulders much larger than that. There's the lonely guy who can't get a woman to love him for the person he is (he inquires about a penis reduction from a urologist); there's a muscular, tattooed ex-plumber who is using his size for hook-ups and to make extra money; one man takes a cast of his member and shows the model off to his lady friends (they giggle), while another man with a full package is tired of his mates joking about him in the changing room. For balance (I guess), a few women are interviewed for their thoughts: some enjoy a large penis and some don't, some are intimated by a massive erection and at least one woman actively seeks them out (using her flexible boyfriend of seven years to complete a threesome). Not-shy UK documentary special with a Polish distributor is narrated by "Love Actually" actress Julia Davis, who has a dry smirk in her voice. It isn't especially enlightening, nor is it titillating--if that's what they were going for. Mostly, these men seem unhappy. Their romantic failures appear to be directly linked to the phallus but, as one woman says, "A big penis is one thing, but you've got to know how to swing it." *1/2 from ****

Rarely in the kaleidoscopic landscape of contemporary televised documentary does a singular cultural artifact emerge that so deftly marries the corporeal with the conceptual, the literal with the ineffable, and the laughably titled with the devastatingly profound. My Massive Cock, provocatively-one might say, phallocratically-named, is not so much a television special as it is a televisual event horizon, a gravitationally dense moment in the cultural discourse from which no assumption, stereotype, or preconceived notion escapes unaltered.

To describe this special as "good" would be a disservice to both the ambitions of its creators and the critical apparatus required to fully metabolize it. My Massive Cock is, in the most Barthesian sense, a text-a throbbing signifier of postmodern masculinity, engorged with layers of semiotic complexity, veering unapologetically into the realm of the symbolic phallus (as Lacan might wheeze from beyond the grave). It is a cockumentary, yes, but also a metatextual lament for the Cartesian rupture between body and soul.

From the opening shot-a slow, deliberate dolly through a modest British suburb, underscored by an elegiac string arrangement that nods subtly to Górecki's Symphony No. 3-the viewer is plunged not into pornography, as the title might promise, but into pathos. What follows is a cascade of testimonies-part confessional, part philosophical tract-in which men burdened by extraordinary anatomy grapple with a world that views their bodies as comedic punchlines, taboo curiosities, or totems of toxic aspiration.

The mise-en-scène is quietly genius. Domestic interiors rendered with an almost Bergmanesque austerity become sites of existential tension. One man, silhouetted against a frosted bathroom window, muses on the impossibility of being seen as a full subject-his words recalling Judith Butler's notion of the "ungrievable life." Another, speaking to camera in a softly lit pub, cites the alienation he feels in relationships, echoing the melancholic eroticism of Mishima's Confessions of a Mask. Are these men merely men, or are they vessels-avatars of a society's desperate attempt to hyperobjectify the male form into something mythic, comic, or terrifying?

And yet, there is humor here-deeply British, tinged with Beckettian absurdity. A man describes shopping for trousers as a logistical operation worthy of a NATO briefing. Another offers a deadpan recounting of a teenage injury so cartoonishly Freudian one half expects Slavoj Zizek to burst from a cupboard, gesticulating wildly.

But it is in its refusal to resolve that My Massive Cock finds its brilliance. There is no moral arc, no "and they lived happily ever after." Instead, it offers a flat ontology of experience: cock as burden, cock as spectacle, cock as metaphor, cock as cock. The final scene-a man walking slowly into the sea, waves lapping at his knees, narration replaced by silence-is as haunting as anything in Tarkovsky or Tarr.

In sum, My Massive Cock is not merely television. It is a provocation. A monolith. A divine joke told in perfect earnestness. It asks not only what it means to be seen-but what it means to be seen too much. One does not watch it so much as submit to it, willingly entering the Derridean play of absence and presence, girth and void.

I wept.

10 stars.

Men with huge penises discuss the trials and tribulations of living with such well endowment.

Channel 4 really have done some of the most bizarre documentaries over the years, and this must rank as one of the strangest.

At the age of 42, I used to spend most of my early years wishing to have had some of what these guys have got, maybe this helps to make things a little more understandable, that perhaps it's not always a dream come true (still wish though!)

Joe, I thought the guy was so likeable, and not just for his size, perhaps the most down to Earth guy here.

Bonny and Tommy, the pair definitely have an interesting relationship, Andy Lee, guy's tattoos are awesome. Tommy just looked totally dejected and sad in almost every scene, think he could do a lot better for himself, needs to kick her into touch.

The thought of a penis reduction, how sad that he felt the need to enquire.

Scott's date, she was stunning. I loved the way she said in a very cool way, thank you for sharing that with me.

Julia Davis's narration added a little bit of amusement with her dry tones.

Just remember googling BBC doesn't ways bring up Fiona Bruce.

Different, 6/10.