Destruction: Las Vegas

There has definitely been worse movies on the SyFy Channel, and Blast Vegas- or Destruction: Las Vegas- is one of those movies that you should try to watch without expecting too much or take it for what it is. Unfortunately even when trying to do that, Blast Vegas came off as a real mess. Barry Bostwick is okay and at least he tries to have some fun, and the attack in the underground parking does have some excitement and tension. The rest of the acting is very bad though, Joe Dante and John Landis are wasted in literally irrelevant cameo appearances and Frankie Muniz's lead performance is both uncharismatic and charmless. With the characters they are so cardboard and poorly developed you cannot root for any of them and some even do things that are infuriatingly ridiculous. The dialogue has no spark either, it's either very bland, it's very shallow-sounding throughout, or too reliant on the silliness, and sadly the silliness is not fresh or witty enough to be effective. The story has one good scene amongst the numerous but soulless action sequences, dull pacing, disaster scenes that lack any kind tension or sense of danger(not helped by that the characters show no signs of being genuinely concerned about what's happening) and dramatic scenes that are frankly predictable and ham-fisted. The movie is not cheaply made- well apart from the special effects which look hurried and poorly textured- but shows no sense of style, and the direction is similarly characterless. The music plays too much of a dirge and isn't memorable enough in the slightest, at no point either does it do anything to enhance what's happening. In conclusion, has a couple of redeeming merits but a very. very bad movie that is really bland with no character, energy or soul. 2/10 for Bostwick and one good sequence. Bethany Cox

This movie is as bad as a summer in Indonesia, without air/con. Watching it injured my soul: ultra-bad comes to mind. It is similar in smell to old sneakers, soaked in a swamp and stuffed into Icelandic shark cheese. Life is not fair and this movie proves it. The CGI made me hate computers as a rule, despite a career utilizing them for pure purpose. Luckily, this film was commercially supported and there were some delightful adverts during the break. I've enjoyed many holidays in Las Vegas ( none of which involved the mixed-metaphors written herein) and can say safely that no great English/Egyptian sword threatens a visitor: on the contrary; beware of gonorrhea and of crabs.

A crate from the "Cairo Museum" is car-jacked, but the sword inside the box manages to arrive at a Las Vegas casino, where it is put on display. There, college students gather to smoke, gamble, drink and have sex. The young men and women are very attractive, except for script-described "runt" Frankie Muniz (as Nelson). With less height and hair than his hunky buddies, Mr. Muniz is given almost no chance to get laid. However, Muniz meets his female equivalent - frumpy Maggie Castle (as Olive) - and the two are mutually attracted. She's not unattractive, but assumes a frumpy posture...

After the jeweled sword is stolen by Muniz' buddies, it "unleashes power like the world has never seen." The sword is said to have originated in 1425 BC. It appears to be cursed - but how and why events occur may require a second viewing of "Blast Vegas" (if you dare). The characters have some ideas. Local "lounge lizard" singer Barry Bostwick (as Sal Rowinski) manages to keep up with the younger cast. A secondary romance holds promise for Michael Steger (as Oren) and Jillian Nelson (as Amber). Andrew Lawrence (as T.J.) knows how to trip over cables nicely. Chris Ridenhour's music is good...

Most interesting is that, in this "special effects" movie, the best sequence does not depend on the effects at all. This scene occurs when Muniz and Ms. Castle are in an underground parking structure. There, they are assaulted by scruffy Steven Schub. Here, director Jack Perez and Mr. Schub inject all the tension and excitement that is missing from the rest of the artificially staged story. The scene is not connected to the movie, but it makes more sense - Schub is a working class man resentful of "rich kids" vacationing in Vegas. His ancestors probably carried stones used to build the Egyptian pyramids.

**** Blast Vegas (7/18/13) Jack Perez ~ Frankie Muniz, Maggie Castle, Barry Bostwick, Steven Schub

I love disaster movies, they're one of my favourite forms of light entertainment. They are full of improbable probabilities about the future of our planet; that at their best, make us take note and think, what if(?) At their worst, they usually make you laugh, even though it's unintentional.

So when I read that the writer, Meyer Shwarzstein with screenwriters Joe D'Ambrosia and Tom Teves had added a fantasy element I thought I'd give it a go...

The mistake was mine. My imagination had already given life to the synopsis... The film falls woefully short in every way.

Firstly, the acting was so awful I was wishing the cast would die off quicker. Even Frankie Muniz, who has proved he can act was terrible. The only decent actor in the whole film was Barry Bostwick who does a great job of portraying a constant gin drinking, wash-up, slightly sleazy, lounge piano player. It's because of Bostwick the film got the rating it did from me.

Secondly, the director handles the story material ludicrously. There is no way anybody is going to believe any of this modern fantasy tale. I know it's meant to be lighthearted and comedic but it even misses here. There are too many holes and continuity errors that are glaringly obvious, as well as some impossible situations. These are evident in other disaster films, though in this movie they are less forgivable because of how the story is handled. The pace and flow are so muddled it gives the movie a disjointed feel.

Thirdly, the special effects, are way below average. Though most movies of this ilk are low-budget the effects are usually well created and carried out to maximise the power and atmosphere of destruction. However, in this film they are so unrealistic my attention was actually broken, as I shook my head in disgust.

The writers and directors of this film should have watched Sharknado and others of a similar vein; then they would've had some idea on how to handle the subject material.

I couldn't in all good conscience recommend this film to anyone. Though if you find yourself kidnapped by Jigsaw and forced to watch this movie then you can take some solace in the fact that at least Barry Bostwick may keep you from going insane...

This movie was pretty much bad in all respects from the acting to the poorly written script but it did have some good comedic and action scenes. The special effects were horrendous for the most part but the cinematography was decent.