Heroes of Sontar

This threatening, war-like race is entirely incompetent in this story and every single one of the characters in this story is an idiot! They are played for laughs during the entire audio and I hate seeing my absolute favorite DW enemies turned into the laughing stock that Alan Barnes clearly thinks they are. From cringe jokes like the Sontarans being sexist and somehow having genders themselves (even though they should have no concept of genders), to a Sontaran who had his tongue cut out during his time as a prisoner being used as a comedy bit because he can't speak anymore and just makes weird noises now. It's just sad really.

The Sontarans just don't feel like Sontarans. They feel more like those quirky guards in "Paradise Towers" that are sticklers for rules to a fault. As emphasized by the gag where the Sontarans cannot shoot the Doctor unless three Sontarans are present. Nothing cool about Sontaran society is explored, even though the beginning is set on Sontar. I loved the idea of the Sontarans with more scars being the more respected ones, but Barnes managed to make even that concept a joke!

I haven't even mentioned the rest of the audio yet which is also pretty poor. The admittedly kinda creepy side-villains and the super important elements of the Sontaran curse aren't even introduced until we're well over the halfway point of the story. Yet, somehow, this episode is also VERY padded for runtime, so Barnes can just write in as many jokes about the Sontarans as he can. Over 40% of the episode could be cut out entirely and you wouldn't miss much.

Even the main cast couldn't save this episode. Nyssa is just bland and has nothing to do. Tegan is particularly loud, stupid, and annoying in this one, and everyone seems to have it out for Turlough for some reason. I don't even like Turlough, but even I started saying "Get off his back! You are treating him with more spite than the Sontarans in front of you!" Every bit of dialogue surrounding Turlough, whether it'd be his friends talking about him behind his back, or talking right to his face, was just a slight at him as a person.

Honestly, there is just nothing to love about this episode.