The Bone Garden

This is like watching a movie a High School kid made for a grade, and he got a C-. It was pretty much too awful to watch but it was like a train wreck you just couldn't stop. The characters were so stiff especially the next-door neighbor when she meets him in the school and he tries to look menacing. Lol.

You know how sometimes you are hoping that a character ends up dead early on. That's exactly what I felt watching this movie. Unfortunately the main character rarely dies at the start. Even her insane, nymphomaniac best friend was an improvement. Needless to say I did not finish this beyond lousy movie.

Well, for a thriller then this 2014 movie titled "The Bone Garden" wasn't actually all that bad. Wait, at least it wasn't all that bad right up until the last quarter of the movie, then everything just fell apart. And I have to say that the last quarter of the movie totally ruined everything that writer and director Mike Gutridge had managed to accomplish up to that point. And I will actually go as far as to saying that the change of events and what happened in that last quarter of the movie was definitely some of the worst I've seen in a movie in a long, long time.

The storyline told in "The Bone Garden" was actually fairly entertaining, and it had that whole 'who did it' vibe going on, and director Mike Gutridge actually managed to make a wholehearted and entertaining movie.

But then he shot himself in both feet with what he opted for in that dreadful and ghastly last quarter. That whole plot twist was just so outrageously bad that it totally killed off the movie. It was so bad that I think it will be imprinted into my memory for a long time to come.

The acting in the movie was adequate, though it was very clear that it wasn't award-winning material that you are in for here, when you sit down to watch the 2014 movie "The Bone Garden".

Ultimately, then "The Bone Garden" is not a movie that I would recommend you waste your time, money or effort on, especially not so with that abysmal last quarter of the movie.

My rating of "The Bone Garden" lands on a mere two out of ten stars. I would have rated it a five stars actually, but then that horrible last quarter rolled on to the screen and it just knocked the movie down so hard. Of course, I am not going to ruin it by revealing what happened, you'll just have to sit down and see for yourself - or actually, you better not.

I don't know where to begin. This was awful in every way. Unimaginably awful. I mean, the DP and sound guy knew their basic jobs, and they did a basic job. This wasn't even intentially bad, it was just plain inept on every level. The "twist" wasn't even uninspired, it was plain irrationally stupid. Stupid is the word, you see, because this movie doesn't deserve a more evocative adjective. I find it absolutely hilarious this guy made a movie recently which he subtitled "An Arthouse Film" because this movie was as far from creative, skillful, or artistic as you can possibly get. Everything about it was utterly basic-- as an example, the editing cut together conversations so that every time a person spoke, the camera showed them, except for a few token moments when the editor remembered you don't have to do that. Picture to yourself if the director and actors of the most inane Disney channel tween sitcom made a "thriller" with middle aged actors-- that's getting close to the joke this was.

Go watch What Lies Beneath. Then, stop. Unless you want to roll your eyes a lot. If you really want to be annoyed, watch this movie.. which takes bits and pieces of that movie and spins it into an incredibly stupid waste of time. I'm honestly not sure how the people who made this weren't sued by the creators of What Lies Beneath. Except the creators of that movie probably didn't want any parallels drawn because this one is so bad. So bad. Even copies the names at times. The main characters in WLB were Claire and her husband Norman, a professor at the local college. This main character in this isn't named Claire, but her husband is Norman a professor at the local college. Both suspected of an affair with a coed who's missing. And the lake that's a pivotal part of the plot is "Claire lake". Ha. There are neighbors in both movies that the main character suspects the husband of killing the wife. And there's a dog in both movies who frolics in a lake and stumbles upon a piece of jewelry. It's all so badly copied it's laughable. Even the best friend... A cheap ripoff of Diana Scarwid's character in WLB. There is even an almost exact conversation about a cool new car post-divorce to pick up guys in. Save yourself the hour and a half of watching this... Just watch What Lies Beneath with Michelle Pfeiffer and Harrison Ford. This movie is a joke.