Wetlands

Wetlands is the kind of movie where things like jizz-covered pizzas, anal tearings, vegetable-based masturbation, purposeful vaginal dirtying, and other taboos are thrown into our face and someone, most likely David Wnendt, wants us to accept the graphic vulgarity like we accepted There's Something About Mary or one of those eye-roll inducing Hangover films. Wetlands dares to call itself a romantic comedy, a coming-of-age story, a family drama, and a gross-out assembly line, and if it were written by someone like Seth Rogen then maybe, just maybe, it would have turned into a sh*t covered disaster. But under Wnendt's authority, it's likable, even if much of it is frustrating. It goes through stretches where it's earnest, legitimately touching, but it also has a tendency to turn around the next minute and tell us about another bodily dysfunction that we'd rather not hear about when we're eating. Part of me wishes it was dirty like a 1960s sex comedy, provocative but not overtly so. But Wetlands can be so appallingly gross that any form of realness seem to be covered in some STDs you caught from a smelly hippie down the street.

At the center of the filth is Helen Memel (Carla Juri), a sexually rambunctious 18-year-old who spends her free time exploring her body in the most disgusting ways imaginable. In the opening alone, a barefoot Helen attends an underground public bathroom so repulsive that it makes a backwoods 7-11 restroom seem pristine. And, as if things couldn't get any more nauseating, she decides to rub herself around the … oh, never mind. Just discussing it makes me shudder.

The film continues in a series of revolting events that seem more NC-17 than cutely edgy, climaxing when Helen accidentally tears her anus (yes, her anus) while hastily shaving. When she finds herself in the hospital for surgery, she cooks up a foolproof plot: as the daughter of divorced parents, she wants nothing more than to get them back together, so why not stage a reconciliation during visiting hours? To Helen, it's ingenious. To us, the thought is depressing, to say the least. But a blossoming romance with a male nurse (Christoph Letkowski) promises better things to come in a world where sexual experimentation is the only source of feeling.

Wetlands is kinda sorta scatterbrained; who knew a movie could transform from a gross-out comedy into a melancholic drama? The best parts of the film, which are (1) the last thirty-minutes and (2) the melancholic drama components, are really, really good; finally, the gags end and deal with Helen as a human instead of an icky caricature. We're given an explanation as to why she is the way she is, and what we find out is gut- punchingly sad — yet it doesn't fit. I can understand her position (ex.: does horrifying things to her body to numb the pains of reality), but I don't understand why the film has to show what she does and what she fantasizes about with such explicit detail. I guess it's meant to shock, but the film is far too well-made to merely act as an exploitation movie. Wetlands covers several genres, and they all work wonderfully; problem is, there's always a slutty cousin wandering about in the background haunting any hint of authenticity. For many films, the level of wildness in a dirty joke can be a calling card (a la American Pie's pie, There's Something About Mary's "hair gel"), but in Wetlands, a dirty joke — scratch that, a dirty image, is a major weakness.

But if you can stomach the vileness of it all, the film is more sweet than it is sickening. There are truly funny moments, and there are affecting moments too. As a coming-of-age drama, its ballsiness is refreshing. And Juri, a combination of Greta Gerwig, Run Lola Run era Franka Potente, and a young Cécile de France, may as well already be a star. With my last impression of Wetlands being that of the earlier mentioned "melancholic drama", though, it must have done something right, despite being one of the most disgusting films I've ever seen. And that's saying something, considering it travels through the microscopic world of a pubic hair within its first few minutes like it's a roller coaster ride.

I have to admit, I never read the novel this is based on. But I'm guessing the people who don't like the movie at all (which is fine), either haven't read the book or don't like the book. I'm saying this, because what you are getting here, is very close to adult films. Something people in Germany (censors that is), do not have a problem with (the movie is rated 16+).

I can only guess the movie will be NC-17 (if they rate it) in America. There are explicit images of male genitalia, a lot bare breasts (though mostly of our main female lead). With all that said, I went into the movie with the impression I wouldn't like it at all. And maybe it didn't really need all those ... (sometimes disgusting) "shots" (no pun intended) or the language. But the central story about someone looking for love and not being able to connect (because of their weird childhood, to say the least), is strangely appealing ...

This movie is certainly not for everyone. If thinking of a oozing zit makes you gag, if you get queasy at the sight of blood, if you suffer from nosocomephobia, or tomophobia, or if any mention of bodily fluids instantly offends your sensitivity, i'm sorry to say you'll never get to enjoy this beautiful little movie.

If, on the other hand, you're one of those people who, like me, see Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings as a bittersweet shift from a brilliant career in gore (Braindead, Bad Taste, Meet the Feebles); if you share a morbid fascination for human anatomy (in all its scatological glory), or simply find the cultural taboos surrounding it ridiculously irrational; you'll absolutely love this movie.

Trying to describe Wetlands, to me, instantly evokes Jeunet's Amélie (as weird as that may sound). They are of course two very different movies, but in the same way, i think, as the modern tale of Sleeping Beauty is so prudishly different from the original Grimm's tale. Both movies essentially revolve around a quirky and naive young woman with family issues striving to find love and meaning in her life through the weirdest and most hare-brained schemes imaginable. And, in that regard, Carla Juni's prodigious embodiment of her character perfectly rivals Audrey Tatou's equally spectacular performance.

If you can only find the same charm in Helen's quirkiness as you did in Amélie's, and get past all the visceral lewdness, you'll find Wetlands doesn't really aim to offend or disgust, as some critics would claim. The fact is, those who could only point at that aspect of this movie, were just sadly incapable of braking through that moral wall and seeing beyond it. Some people, of course, will never be able to appreciate the beauty of a garden, because they're too repulsed by the smell of manure...

One of the grossest films I've ever seen, delving into mysteries of the female anatomy that, as a man, I might rather have left a mystery, but it's wild and original and smart. If you have a strong stomach, it's well worth attempting. Carla Juri plays a horndog 18 year-old girl with a bad case of hemorrhoids. The problem is exacerbated when she badly cuts herself shaving her butthole. She quickly enters the hospital for surgery. During the recuperation, she starts a flirtatious relationship with a cute male nurse (Christoph Letkowski) and attempts to use her hospital stay to reunite her divorced parents (Meret Becker and Axel Milberg). The butt stuff is not nearly the most disturbing part of this movie, but it manages to be quite funny and charming even while it's at is most horrifying. Unfortunately, when it arrives at a more dramatic climax, it doesn't really feel earned, so the whole film deflates a bit. Juri is absolutely amazing, giving one of my favorite performances of recent times. I was a bit disappointed that the film was directed by a man, given that it has a refreshing female point of view, but the original novel was written by a woman (Charlotte Roche), and at least one of the screenwriters was female, as well.

This is without a doubt the most disgusting film I've ever seen. The number of scenes in the movie that make you go "OMG" are probably not countable on one or even two hands.

However, the disgusting parts are never there just to arouse disgust. It is all done with a certain amount of grace and balance, by the director but by the main actress as well. I found myself having a good laugh a large number of times.

The main actress by the way is truly awesome, beautiful and appealing, and totally fit for the part.

There is enough of a storyline to make the movie interesting besides the focus on sex and filthy things.

I really totally recommend seeing this movie.