- Barney: I'm 50 yrs old, got nothing to show for it. Live in this shitey flat/ not had a ride since Shakin Stephens had a number one, a mother who sticks her claws in like an old buzzard. A man by rights should live to reach his full potential and have a kick at the ball.
- Barney: [narrating] It's true what they say, there's no such thing as bad publicity. It's amazing what a serial killer does for business. Good to be alive.
- [last lines]
- Barney: [narrating] I'll tell you who I am. That top chair is mine now. I'm in the window, looking back at all of you. If you're passing, drop in. We're busy. Mind, everybody wants to spend a bit of time with Barney Thomson. Legend. What about that?