- Erica Wexler: I'm so sorry about Beth, by the way. Your mom talked to my mom about it.
- Zach Orfman: I used to really want her to come back.
- Erica Wexler: Of course.
- Zach Orfman: But things are really complicated between us, you know? Like kind of fucked up.
- Erica Wexler: Right.
- Zach Orfman: Now, I just kind of wish she would stay dead.
- Zach Orfman: You have like, really great skin.
- Erica Wexler: Really?
- Zach Orfman: Yeah, it's like... It's really great.
- Erica Wexler: Oh, my God. Thank you.
- Zach Orfman: Can I touch it?
- Erica Wexler: Yeah, okay. You're so interesting.
- Zach Orfman: [touches her cheek] Wow. It's like flawless.
- Erica Wexler: Oh, my God! Thank you.
- [giggling]
- Zach Orfman: And I can breathe through my nose around you.
- Zach Orfman: We're going to go for a hike.
- Geenie Slocum: Not a hot idea.
- Maury Slocum: In broad daylight? Zach, are you nuts?
- Geenie Slocum: Wait till nightfall.
- Beth Slocum: Why?
- Maury Slocum: Because, baby, it's safer.
- Beth Slocum: At night? Who hikes at night?
- Zach Orfman: Oh, everything's great. Beth's alive and it was all just one big hoax. So, just forget about it.
- Judy Orfman: Well, I don't think that's funny.
- Zach Orfman: Yeah, well, I don't either.
- Zach Orfman: You don't want to eat me, do you?
- Beth Slocum: Zach! Not right now. Remember?
- Zach Orfman: No, I mean really eat me.
- Beth Slocum: Stop. Not with my parents around. Come on.
- Noah Orfman: You're up pretty early, son.
- Zach Orfman: Or is it really, really late? I mean, it's all relative, you know?
- Noah Orfman: [nervous chuckle] Not really, no.
- Zach Orfman: Well, it's like there's no past, no future, no up or down. No dead or alive. Jesus realized this.
- Beth Slocum: [Looking at her grave] Is this some kind of sick joke?
- Zach Orfman: I wish it was.
- Beth Slocum: W... What is that?
- Zach Orfman: You died a week and a half ago. And then you must have like dug yourself up or something.
- Beth Slocum: No. No. No. No way. That's impossible Zach. Zach.
- Zach Orfman: Ok listen: You... went hiking by yourself.
- Beth Slocum: No, I didn't.
- Zach Orfman: Yes, and you gotten bitten by a snake, and then you died.
- Beth Slocum: How could I be dead Zach? I'm not dead. My mom and dad would have told me if I was... dead.
- Zach Orfman: They didn't want to hurt your feelings.
- Beth Slocum: No. No. How could I be... how could I be dead if I'm alive? You can't be both things Zach. You can either be dead or alive, and I'm alive.
- Zach Orfman: Ok, Ok... um...
- Beth Slocum: Look at me Zach. Feel me. Look.
- Zach Orfman: Your parents think you were resurrected.
- Beth Slocum: Like Jesus?
- Zach Orfman: Or a zombie.
- Beth Slocum: Or a zombie? What the fuck Zach? What does that mean?
- Zach Orfman: [Zach places his hand on Beth's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her] Hey...
- Beth Slocum: [Beth looks at her grave again, in a mixed state of shock and confusion] I'm dead.
- Zach Orfman: Yeah.
- Beth Slocum: And there's no other Beth?
- Zach Orfman: No.
- Beth Slocum: Promise?
- Zach Orfman: Yeah, You're the only one, ok? Ok listen. Um... things have been like... things have been like really difficult between us. And um... Like, it's not your fault, but...
- Beth Slocum: You don't love me anymore.
- Zach Orfman: Y... yes.
- Beth Slocum: You don't love me anymore.
- Zach Orfman: Yes, I do. Ok I just... Look, I can't do this anymore. You're not... you're not you!
- Beth Slocum: Yes, it is me. Look at me I'm... Beth. I'm here. How could I not be Beth?
- Zach Orfman: I know, but you're not the same Beth Ok? You're just like... You're violent and you're angry and you're destructive, and I'm like... I'm scared of you ok?
- Beth Slocum: [Flies into a rage] Fuck you!
- [pushes Zach over]
- Beth Slocum: I'm Beth, and I'm alive ok?
- Zach Orfman: Calm down.
- Beth Slocum: [roars] I'm Beth!
- [first lines]
- Supermarket Stocker: Can I help you find something, sir?
- Zach Orfman: Yeah, do you have any black napkins. I've been looking all over.
- Supermarket Stocker: Black napkins... I don't think so. If you don't like white, this is a beige one
- Zach Orfman: They have to be black.
- Supermarket Stocker: That's more of a Halloween item. You might want to try a party store.
- Zach Orfman: [gives a slow, incredulous look]
- Zach Orfman: Beth, just chill out. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna make this better, and then we'll go hiking.
- Beth Slocum: Really? You promise?
- Zach Orfman: Yeah. Just go easy on the interior, baby.
- [leaves her in the car chewing on the seats]
- Erica Wexler: [crouched against the wall] I stuck a tent pole through my Nana's head.
- Judy Orfman: She's a bit traumatized, but she'll be okay.
- [then in a whisper]
- Judy Orfman: Doesn't she look good?