Crackcoon

Okay, so the night i met my boyfriend, we were under the influence and we came home and saw this movie on the recently added section of our IPTV. We put this on and have been going strong since that first night we met. Expectations were low but this has become a favorite within our friend group. The acting is awful, the score is clearly royalty free music, the raccoon puppet is terribly made but this movie is absolutely hilarious. It's a riot from start to finish. I swear they pulled random people off of the street to act in this movie. By no means whatsoever is this a good movie, but it's at that "it's so terrible it's passable" point. Low budget movie all around. We LOVE this movie. If someone sees this review, I would love to purchase the raccoon puppet.

It's like Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen were kidnapped by Somali pirates where they were shown deliverance and cocaine bear on repeat, fed only chicken wings and Mountain Dew code red. They were going to be sold to Nick Cage to produce trash films for him to star in. As usual Nick blew his money and so they had to release Tommy and Neil back into the wild.

This film is the first step in their long recovery from the trauma they endured which projects itself as a drug addicted trash panda killing a disjointed cast of rando bus stop people.

I really hope they get the help they need because this film was somehow more boring than anything else they made.

Based off of the name, people would associate this film as the inspiration taken from Cocaine Bear. However of course it's not nearly as good given the story, the characters and most importantly the budget. There's nothing special in this film. It's simply about a fake puppet looking raccoon who stumbles upon a bag filled with "rare" drugs, injects it then turns into a crazed killing machine.

The story is filled with a bunch of random intersecting characters with essentially the leads being an over the top unfunny couple, a woman and a sheriff. Jessa Flux also features briefly here and she has her customary shower skin scene plus more (1:13:30, 1:17:40). The film does pick up in the second half but essentially it's just not a "so bad it's good" film and it's not a future cult classic.

This is one of those films that overall is pretty bad. I'm NOT suggesting anyone watch this expecting a decent film. It's a pretty horrible film.

But it's so bad.. it may be worth a watch.

Acting across the board is very sub-par, except for the unhappy wife wanting to go to Florida. She could act.

The worst actor in this is the puppet used for the raccoon. So, yeah, its a puppet.. clearly. Not an animatronic or CGI-generated.. a puppet on someone's hand that has as much expression as one would expect. Actually, I'm not even sure it's a puppet.. it may have been a stuffed animal glued to a stick so they could shake it. But that all lends to the comedically bad nature of the film.

The storyline is rather straightforward, and, well, the film title gives it away. It's just a basic slasher flick with an animal.

Has it's fair share of comedic lines, unfortunately the acting is so bad the comedy is often delivered poorly. But it is what it is. It's over-the-top..

The first bit is a tough watch. Just really, really, bad acting... But eventually the old-school sex and violence kick in... along with too much fake blood.. that's what makes it so bad it's worth watching.

To be clear... this film is BAD, really BAD... but it's so bad you may enjoy it if you are sick of the "universes" with their overly glossy CGI-based formulaic comic book stories.

Now I am going to be as short as humanly possible. Please stop wasting your time watching this low IQ brain dead micro budget cheap looking pieces of celluloid.

Movie description: Not sure who makes those movies but they are awful and I mean real awful, from the script, to the story to the acting, and even worse the so called special effects. Its terribly filmed and it look amateur at WORST. Even if it was aiming at a comedy horror gender it failed on every way. The raccoon himself is a puppet and when it attacks the so called actor or cast hold it on place it's that hilarious.

P. S. I am a non bias reviewer critic and I try to warn you on what not to watch. First off this kannibalcorpsegrinder guy is certainly a studio shill who 100% has connects to these low budget independent films. There is no way this film is a 10/10 and is "near-flawless".

I know I am not the only one who reads his reviews and gets irritated by his constant nonsense spewing. Literally it is all lies. Please do not listen to a word he says. Thanks guysss! (Jericho voice)