- Hal Sparks: [about "The Little Mermaid"] The lovely little moral of this story is, "Girls give up your voice so you have legs you can spread for your man and never talk." What?
- Themselves: [about Salman Rushdie's book "The Satanic Verses"] Salman Rushdie deserves to die. That book's, like, 600 pages. It's torture.
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