The Dead Follows

I was initially intrigued by the cover this 2023 movie, which I had never actually heard about. I happened to stumble upon the this by sheer random luck, and opted to give the movie a fair chance. However, I wasn't aware that it was a documentary of ghost hunting.

The documentary had just started when I was good and ready to turn it off. That Jazmyne Nikole had lips that looked like she had glued sausages on her face. Wow, it looked to atrocious, and it was just difficult not to stare at the monstrosities that sat on her face. I seriously cannot grasp why people do that to themselves and seriously think it looks good. But enough ranting about ridiculous body-fillers, I opted to give it a fair chance, nonetheless.

And the contents of the documentary are so dull that it will lull you into a dream-like stupor. This would be an effective thing to put on if you're struggling with insomnia.

There is nothing professional about the camera work throughout the documentary, as it is filmed with a handheld camera, and that is essentially something we all can do. And I am not a fan of that. I am not really interested in investing time, effort and money into something that I could have filmed myself with my own digital video camera, or even with my mobile phone camera.

Needless to say that the movie's cover over-sells the documentary by a landslide. The cover was interesting, the contents of the documentary, well, not so much.

"The Dead Follows" is not worth the time or light of day. And this is definitely something I would recommend you to give a wide berth, as it simply isn't worth wasting 85 minutes on watching. Some people just have too much time on their hands, and then something like "The Dead Follows" is being made.

My rating of directors Victor Huesca and Jazmyne Nikole's 2023 laughable attempt at making a documentary lands on a generous one out of ten stars. This was a dumpster fire in every aspect.

Okay. Let's look past the idea that the actress wants to look like a Kardashian and the director didn't want to wait for her newly Botoxed lips to heal. The idea that paranormal investigators can't ask reasonably coherent questions to a few squeaky floor boards without jumping out of their skin is not going to get them a cable gig! Then there is the constant demand for the alleged entity to leave the premises. What happened to trying to find out WHY it followed these people home? Who are these entities? The video seems like a never ending stream of Ready, Fire! Aim... direction. If you want to see how to make a paranormal documentary the wrong way, watch this!

First things first...this is by no means a documentary.

It's a found footage horror.

And a rather lazy one at that.

Because it's mainly just two individuals ("ghost hunters") wandering around a random house with a night vision camcorder.

Apparently, the house is haunted by "the man with a hammer" who lives in the closet of the family's child.

As well as a ghost of a child.

Which couldn't be more cliché.

It then, inexplicably shifts to a location in the woods with a few dilapidated structures.

Though, any connection between the two storylines is unapparent.

Humourously, the ghosts are played by Google's Alexa.

Who, unfairly, isn't credited for it's role.

On top of that, the film consists of very basic gags, and some really bad cgi stick animation.

And not a whole lot more.

When all is said and done, you really can't help but feel like this was a project designed to help these two onlyfans subscribers connect with their favourite onlyfans model...in a desperate attempt to convince her that they could help her fulfill her dreams of being a real actress.

To be fair though, it's not their acting that's the problem.

It's the story.

And, even moreso, the execution.

I downloaded it...so I'm only out the hour and a half of my life.

But definitely wouldn't recommend wasting any of your hard earned money to indulge in it.

Because it really doesn't have anything of value to offer you.

Other than some extremely mindless distraction.

And not very entertaining distraction at that.

Good on them for trying though.

Here's hoping they got laid for their efforts.

1.5 out of 10.

I just couldn't bring myself to watch this for more than a few minutes. The lead actress had these absolutely ridiculously huge filler filled lips which were so grotesque that I couldn't look away and concentrate on whatever shred of a plot there might have been.

The majority of the movue was filmed practically in total darkness so you could not see what was happening anyway.

I skimmed through most of the film hoping to see something worth watching but could not be persuaded to finish it.

Really disappointed in the whole thing.

Don't bother even trying to watch this rubbish.

The scariest thing about this is the face of the female lead.