Shiny Happy People

I did not grow up in IBLP and have never met the Duggars or Bill Gothard. However, I did grow up in a different cult, and I know people who have met Gothard and/or grew up under his teachings. Every issue that the show highlights-authority (especially patriarchal), the submission of women, instant obedience from children, spanking, the elevation of servant hood, child labor, the constant fear of breaking a rule or causing someone else to "stumble," etc-I have seen in the lives of those who experienced the teachings of IBLP. Even my family's watching of "19 Kids and Counting" impacted my parents' decisions toward my dating (sorry, courting) experience. The important thing about Gothard's influence, and the show does a fantastic job of highlighting it, is IBLP's influence on American society at large. People need to know that this isn't a freak occurrence: this is real, it's now, and it has lasting consequences on individuals and society as a whole. Well done to the creators of the show, and thanks to everyone who has the courage to be involved. Your voice makes a difference.

The documentary fairly hammers the Duggar parents and this abominable ministry movement, but I wish TLC (which has as much to do with "learning" as MTV has to do with "music" in the 21st century) got ripped as much as well. Shame on them for looking the other way with the Duggar parents and eldest son until they couldn't anymore. I get that they aren't the focus of the documentary on the whole, but they are a morally liable entity in this sordid tale.

Meanwhile, those who are saying that this is anti-Christian . . . To think that any of the whistle blowers are "anti-Christian" is laughable. They are anti-cult, anti-predators. If you are equating Christianity to IBLP, I'm worried for you.

I watched the Duggar's show from time to time when its was airing. I always thought they had too many children, mostly because the older ones (particularly the girls) had to parent their siblings and did not have their own needs met. I always thought that Michelle's little baby voice was creepily childlike and submissive, that the children were almost certainly not getting a real education, and that by making sex and the body itself so taboo, they were just going to create problems.

So, when Josh Duggar was found to have molested his sisters and other girls, and then to have moved on to actual child pornography, I was somewhat surprised but not entirely shocked. Like one of the escapees interviews said, monsters are created. They taught him that women should submit to men and children to adults, then built a giant wall around the subject of sex to the point that he grew up with a warped view of it. They also used corporal punishment (I didn't know how bad it was, yikes). I'm not excusing him. The guy belongs in jail. But it is certainly largely his parents' fault that he ended up like this.

I just felt heartsick and angry on behalf of all of the people interviewed who had to live like that for so many years before escaping. Cults like this really do give religion a bad name. I know plenty of people who grew up in large families and/or religious households who were treated with respect and love and grew up to be happy, productive, decent adults. I also know people who were home schooled who got good educations and went on to go to college and be successful. Notably, they were always given social outlets through sports and other activities.

This movement is rotten on every level. And yes, that includes the political wing. Peaking behind that particular dark curtain was pretty disturbing. If a couple wants to have a large family, that's their choice. But it should be a choice, not a method of keeping women barefoot, pregnant and beneath the heels of their spouses and fathers.

I started watching the Duggars when they started on TLC with their series. I was a young mom with two children, and a Christian. I found myself marvelling at how Michelle maintained her level of calm, never raising her voice nor a hand to her brood of children. Homeschooling them. The children being so well behaved, so sweet. It would make me feel substandard as a mom. I would lose my temper with my kids. My kids were not always well behaved. My husband would say, "There's something wrong with this family. Something is not right."

Well that was all before 2015. In 2015 viewers were enlightened that all was not shiny in the Duggar home. Josh had molested five underage girls when he was a young teenager. Then more issues with Josh. He was outed as an Ashley Madison patron. These last few years with the despicable finding of Josh having downloaded some of the worst images of babies and children being SAd, ultimately resulting in his incarceration, viewers see that all is not right in the Duggar home. And yet, Jim Bob continues to protest fiercely. I have never heard Jim Bob or Michelle apologize to their daughters, who were Josh's victims, to his wife Anna, who experienced the ultimate betrayal by his infidelity, nor to the children of his video downloads, who were victimized in the worst way, an unforgivable crime to which I believe his sentence is not long enough.

The docuseries sheds more light on Bill Gothard and IBLP. It's true that the set up is a perfect storm for women to be abused with zero accountability. Actually, for women to feel the burden and the cause of the harm that they endure, all while smiling and minimizing the crime.

IBLP is a cult. People follow blindly. I am glad that they have been exposed. My concern is that the Duggars have made IBLP seem like a wonderful extension of the Gospel, and that more unsuspecting believers have bought the lie and are now involved in it, and subsequently bringing harm to their families. This cult is shrouded in lies and hypocrisy. The first evidence of that is when JimBob is asked to be featured in Parent magazine, and he is not transparent as to the reason why Josh is not at home. He is at an IBLP work camp for molesting his sisters, and Jim Bob simply summons him to return.

What is hidden in darkness eventually comes to light. Unfortunately it came too late. Jim Bob has amassed millions (which he kept for himself, while exploiting children and putting them on tv, which by the way is satanic for the IBLP and verboten in their households), and many many of the vulnerable have been irreparably harmed in the name of religion.

As Jesus said, better to have a millstone hung around your neck than to cause harm to a precious little child.

I've spent a lifetime trying to explain my life in IBLP/ATI and I was extremely nervous about how this docuseries would present it. The sense of relief and validation after watching Shiny Happy People (several times) is indescribable. I'm thrilled to be able to point people towards this now and not have to explain the abuse and horror over and over again. Thank you to each one who told their story. It's incredible to see other people who I've never met tell of such similar experiences. Trying to navigate the world around me after learning only what Bill Gothard wanted was nearly impossible, and this series pointed out so many of the deeply ingrained reasons why.