- Brandon: Why am I here?
- Reverand Sholdeur: You're here because you're my son, and a member of our church, and because you don't want a boatload of homosexuals congregating in the middle of our town. Right?
- Brandon: Doesn't the constitution give citizens the right to assemble?
- Reverand Sholdeur: Not here, if I have anything to say about it. This is a battle we can win.
- Professor Mahler: Now. repeat after me: Theater IS life.
- Drama Students: [bored] Theater is life.
- Professor Mahler: Film is art.
- Drama Students: Film is art.
- Professor Mahler: Television is furniture.
- Drama Students: Television is furniture.
- Professor Mahler: Now you may applaud.
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