Tell Them You Love Me

This documentary really threw me for a loop. I went into it expecting a classic cut-and-dry true crime doc, but it ended up leaving me with an empty feeling in my throat. This, because either way the cookie crumbles, someone is suffering.

It began with a great story of a man and a woman working on the man's ability to communicate, and overturned into something completely different.

I really loved the way this was filmed, and how it really gives you, the viewer, a chance to see where you fall in the (unfortunate) black and white world of disability. I hope it generates more awareness of the polarizing effect so many people with disabilities face.

"Tell Them You Love Me" is guaranteed to blow your mind. This thought-provoking documentary tells the extraordinary and controversial story of Anna Stubblefield and Derrick Johnson, challenging our perceptions of disability and consent. Anna, an esteemed university professor, claimed to unlock Derrick's mind from his body through facilitated communication, sparking a complex and shocking relationship that led to a sensational criminal trial. The film skillfully uses exclusive footage and interviews to create a narrative that is as riveting as it is nuanced, exploring deep themes of communication, race, and sexuality.

"Tell Them You Love Me" sucks you in from the very start, making it impossible to take your eyes off the screen. The way it's filmed captures the raw and unexpected turns of this fascinating case in human psychology, offering a unique perspective on true crime. It draws you into a story that is both shocking and profoundly interesting. The documentary not only highlights the ethical and legal dilemmas faced by those involved but also raises important questions about the nature of love and agency in the context of severe disability. This is a must-watch for anyone interested in the complexities of human psychology.

As much as everyone wants Derrick to be a vegetable who doesn't mind being a virgin living with his mom until he dies, he isn't. Telepathy tapes justifies the professor and it's just sad the jealous brother got in the way of the love of his life. The brother got his way tho, he stopped the perpetrator and now he's brother can live by himself with his mom decade after decade not getting any of his sexual needs met and then age and die slowly always remembering Anna as this bright spot in his youth that could've blossomed him into the sun but now he gets to act like a vegetable to please his brother.

It's important to remember that as caregivers to a severely disabled person, the government subsidies are maximized. Therefore reallly, there are no incentives for the family to seek out further beneficial aides, educational assistance or anything else that will help D. J. to use or try to various ways to communicate because it will just rock the boat. They've been given all they need in terms of functional assessment, which is D. J.'s life sentence of severe disability and intelligence of a toddler, so they feel no guilt in not trying to help him.

The other thing, it's pretty clear that Anna was in a position of power and trust and made a bad choice, a series of bad choices. And deserved to be held to account. However, I don't doubt her feelings and that D. J. shared them, and that their intimacy was consensual.

Further, it's a very difficult film but it's important. It sparks thoughtful consideration of many aspects at the intersection of race, disability and sexual consent. I do hope we all open our hearts and minds to the hidden lessons and wish all parties involved many blessings.

I do think that what Ana did with Derek is disgusting, I can't even imagine the scene in her office with him.

However, I am very angry at Derek's family too, including mother and brother.

Derek was masturbating, so what if he was? Doesn't he have the right to do so?

I know that being sexually abused can cause people to masturbate excessively and that's a different thing, but just because he is masturbating when he is 40 in an adult body and you still think he is 2 years old and can't forget going with him to hospitals doesn't mean he is not a human being with instincts and needs.

The brother was also often irrational being on mother's side and focused on defeating Ana at any cost. I felt very angry that they did not talk about how Derek was affected by all of this, the trial, and separation from Ana , because even he didn't love her the way Ana says, there was a bond and attachment created between them that I am sure caused him much distress and pain after separation.

And the fact that the jury or other people can't even imagine a severely disabled person being loved by someone who is not disabled or loving someone himself is very undermining of the worth of people with disability and their capacities.