- Delia Anguish: Good evening and welcome to my show. I'm Delia Anguish, paranormal expert and pinup model. Tonight, I shall be your guide into the frightening realm of the unknown, on another chilling episode of "Delia Anguish: Mistress of Mystery". And now, who'd like to take a little trip... to the dark side!
- Misty Dawn: Damn, it fucking reeks down here! Smells like butchered young corpses carefully prepared for a ritualistic demonic sacrifice!
- Daisy Derkins: Delia, I know it may not mean much, but I really am sorry. I would've been here much sooner, but I was unconscious for a few minutes, and I was tied to my stalker, and there was a witch, or a ghost, or something.
- Kristy Dawn: Oh, man! I've always wanted to fuck a psychotic! This is gonna be intense!
- Lance Nervosa: Shut up.