Kiss of the Spider Woman

I've always had a deep fondness for Héctor Babenco's 1984 version. With Jennifer Lopez and Diego Luna both artists I admire in the cast of this new musical adaptation, my expectations were high. But the truth is, this film, its budget, and the cultural legacy inherited from both the novel and the original movie were simply too big for Bill Condon to handle. There's a pervasive sense of unfinishedness hanging over the whole thing.

Honestly, the moment they invited Ben Affleck to the premiere, it was clear where things were headed no studio that truly believes in its film feels the need for such a clumsy PR stunt.

KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN has in interesting history. It was originally a 1976 novel by Argentine writer Manuel Puig, then a popular film of 1986 that received 4 Oscar nominations, including Best Picture. It was a 1993 Broadway musical winning multiple Tony awards, including Best New Musical. The songs were written by John Kander and Fred Ebb, who had also written the hit shows, CABARET and CHICAGO (both becoming hit movies).

The early buzz on this film has been favorable, so I was eager to see it. My verdict: Mixed. It takes a long time to get moving and most of the musical numbers were boring to me. But after it finally takes off, it's pretty good. Its biggest asset is a sensational performance in the lead role by the mononymous "Tonatiuh," an actor I'd never heard of. I assumed he was a Latin American movie star, but according to the IMDb, he was born in Los Angeles! He's made a few movies, none of which I have ever heard of. It's premature to make Oscar predictions, but he's going to be hard to beat. It's a good role (William Hurt got an Oscar for it in the original film and the Canadian actor who played it on Broadway got the Tony for it.), but Tonatiuh also has the Latino good looks and the talent to pull it off. Other cast members were okay. Lopez did not look very attractive to me. I don't know whether or not it was intentional, but later in the movie when Tonatiuh was in drag, he and Jennifer Lopez looked alike.

I won't spoil anything, but I was disappointed when I saw it.

I had only seen the first trailer, and I thought the plot was about a movie star from the 1950s-60s but it turned out to be totally different.

They had some genuinely good and authentic ideas, but it felt like they tried to cram them all in a bit too forcefully.

I gave it that rating because the movie offered some glimpses into the Argentine dictatorship, which made me want to learn more about it.

I'm intrigued that Bill Condon has chosen to remake "Kiss of the Spider Woman" as a musical. Based on a Manuel Puig novel, the story focuses on two men imprisoned under Brazil's 1970s military dictatorship: Valentin, a leftist suspected of seeking to overthrow the junta, and Molina, a gay man held because of his sexuality. The narrative contrasts the characters shared plight with their sharply opposed attitudes toward power, and with the evolving hopes and stories that keep them going. Director Eduardo Barreto's 1985 adaptation garnered high praise, as did stars William Hurt, Raul Julia, and Sonia Braga. The film is a harrowing exploration of oppression which subtly pressed 1980s Western audiences about the brutal authoritarian regimes our governments backed for the sake of anticommunism, about the marginalization of both egalitarian politics and gay people throughout the world. Yet, the cellmates aren't given a free pass: They waver between selfishness and solidarity. Just when you think you've figured them out, they take a turn. Forty years later, the story seems roughly the same, but our context has changed. Today, Condon's KOTSW remake is being released into a U. S. A. That's taking its own authoritarian turn. The government isn't a military dictatorship, but the president rules by decree, defies the courts, disappears thousands of civilians daily to prison camps, and floods the streets with troops at the slightest pretext. Fittingly, Andor star Diego Luna takes over Raul Julia's role as the revolutionary Valentin.

Kiss Of The Spider Woman has an intriguing premise, but it consistently undermines it's purpose with scattershot direction, aimless ambition and a lead performance that fizzles more than sparks. Now, I've never seen the 1985 original or read the book by Manuel Puig. However, I can confidently assume that this rendition of the film is missing some very key elements to the story, at least that's how it feels as you're watching it.

As the film within the film plays on, it feels completely disconnected from the jail cell we share with our 2 exquisite actors. It's not until the climax that things start to come together but it all feels just a bit unearned and pointless. The story was told in such a way that it did not start to interest me until the last quarter of the film. Disappointing as this story is a good one.

On another note, Jennifer Lopez is a good dancer and a good actress. There's no denying that. Where she faulters is her singing. Flat, the entire film. Not once was there a stand out moment for her, and she is supposed to be the film's centerpiece. It's not all J. Lo's fault though, the songs they were making her sing are incredibly lackluster.

Not one shred of pizzazz or sparkle. I couldn't wait for the songs to end so we could get back to the story, which was far more interesting than whatever Bill Condon thought he was bringing to the table with this disasterous musical that, if I'm being honest, didn't need to be a musical at all.

Overall, I didn't hate everything about it. Diego Luna and Tonatiuh are both excellent and their side of the story is easily the best part of the film. However, as far as musicals go, this was a complete miss. Almost as bad as the Cats remake. Not quite, but almost.

2 Kisses out of 5.