- Steve: Listen, if I play like me, and people like it, that's one thing. You play like me, it's a tribute band.
- Mary: Tom, where's your helmet?
- Tom: It's chained to my bike.
- Mary: You are using it, aren't you, Tom?
- Tom: Yes, Mom.
- Mary: Do you know the number of people I've seen that'd still be alive if they'd worn a helmet?
- Tom: Did you see those paramedics?
- Mary: Yeah. The old lady downstairs... Crrrrrk!
- Tom: Maybe if she would have worn a helmet...
- Mary: Tom!
- Steve: You got secrets; so, the way I see it, we have us a... blackmail Mexican standoff. You try to ruin my life, I WILL ruin yours. I like that. It's a balance of power. Takes us back to the way we were before. We can just go on ignoring each other.
- Tom: Yeah, but it's not balanced. I'll tell everyone that you're Max Stone.
- Steve: Yeah, and I will tell your mom about the Devil's music.
- Tom: Well... I'll tell everyone you tried to touch me.
- Steve: Get out!
- Tom: [from outside] Someone, help! It's a peedo!
- Steve: "Pedo," retard.